Most Ridiculous Moments In Far Cry Primal
Even if you've never played a Far Cry game in your life, Far Cry Primal is a pretty great jumping-on point. After all, what better place to start than a few thousand years in the past? As the hero Takkar, you traverse the huge land of Oros, uniting your tribe, and remorselessly slaughtering enemy cavepeople. Even though the game is firmly rooted in a much simpler time, you'll come across some pretty insane stuff along the way. Here are some of the most ridiculous encounters you'll face during this stone age simulation.
Tamed to death
As a master of beasts, you can toss bags of guts at wild animals, lure them close, and tame them. It's kinda like Pokemon, but with more loose spleens and oozings. Once you have an animal in your thrall, you can command it to attack your enemies. As you play, you'll encounter a few mega-beasts; legendary creatures who are known for killing countless cave-dudes. These beasts include a torn-up Great Scar Bear, the totally goth Snowblood Wolf, and the powerful Bloodfang Sabretooth. Of course, these guys take a little more than a slap with a sack of meat to tame. Instead, you have to beat them into a coma and bring them back to life by handing them a steak. Just like in nature! It's one thing to prove your dominance, but it's another to be a total knob.
Poor, dumb Urki
One of the game's major quests is helping out Urki, a caveman with big dreams and absolutely no brains. It's immediately clear upon encountering him that he's a strange version of a caveman redneck, complete with headband and goofy drawl. Even though everyone in Oros speaks a primitive, subtitled language, the message is clear: Urki is a moron. His tasks are pretty simple fetch quests, but the results are hilarious. First, Urki needs feathers and turtle shells so he can fly...which he does by leaping off a cliff and plummeting to the ground. Subsequent quests are equally rewarding, and an awesome diversion from the terminal seriousness of the game. Urki isn't completely doomed, though. One of his distant relatives shows up in Far Cry 3.
Release the bee bombs!
Early in the game, Takkar learns how to use a man-sized spirit owl to survey his surroundings from the sky, which is very helpful when enemies may lurk around every ridge. Later on, your enormous owl can be taught to one-shot most enemies on the ground, and eventually, it learns how to drop special bombs on command. One bomb is full of a weird gas that causes enemies to kill one another, and one bomb is just full of plain ol' bees that swarm and sting enemies to death as they scream and flee. It's such a surreal use of nature that it's almost magic. Where's Walt Whitman when you need him?
Marking territory
While gathering important members of your clan, you come across Wogah the Crafter, a one-armed guy who makes stuff to help you on your quest to unite Oros. Initially, he mistakes you for a villainous Udam after you fall into his pit trap, and in order to express his dominion over you, he answers the nature's call right into the pit. Fortunately, the game sufficiently blurs the offending member, and once you're sufficiently soaked, you can find your way out of the pit and set Wogah straight... even though you get stuck with an extremely unpleasant nickname.
Caught In the act
Cavepeople do what cavepeople do, and there's no way around it. This includes spending all day dancing for unseen gods, building statues so that the rains come, grunting, and making more cavepeople. Occasionally, as you sprint across the hills and valleys of Oros, you'll accidentally surprise a loving couple canoodling in the weeds. It's not explicitly clear what they're doing, but it's definitely romantic in nature. It's not like the game is without its share of prehistoric nudity, if that's your thing. These are the days before graphic tees, after all.
Purple dragons majesty
Far Cry Primal is a pretty realistic world in terms of scenery. It doesn't go out of its way to be especially interesting, but it also isn't wanting for beautiful points of interest...so it's pretty much like real nature. But if you explore deep enough into the land of Oros, you might just encounter a crazy, glowing purple cave with a reptilian skeleton suspended inside it. Not only is this a passive acknowledgement to the age of dinosaurs, but also a direct reference to Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, an awesome standalone expansion to the series focusing on a sci-fi neon 1980s world. Now, where's the expansion where you can play as a dinosaur?
Moonshot
Your prehistoric enemies have their own sets of superstitions and fears, and as the game's merciless hero, you use these to your advantage. In order to truly know your enemies, you visit your local shaman, who sends you on drugged-out spirit journeys through their psyches. These not only reveal their weaknesses, but also offer clues about later battles. During one psycho-billy freakout, you embody a god of fire, launching powerful flaming arrows at hordes of enemies. Eventually, you take aim at the moon itself, piercing it until it explodes overhead. It's a disturbing, crazy moment for a game where you generally spend most of your time picking flowers and trying not to scare goats.
Rock 'n roll Batari
During the game's ultimate battle with the Izila leader, Batari, you sneak into her massive temple wearing the craggy, creepy battle mask of her dead son. Around this point, the game just kind of forgets that you've spent the last 30 hours listening to the Oros dialect and hearing to people bang on wood, and lapses into an absolutely rocking final battle song with English lyrics and electric guitars. It's an intense moment and it sets a crazy mood, and it has absolutely no place in a game called Primal, but it somehow gives the game a perfect ending, because there's always room for rock 'n' roll.