Dumbest Parts Of The Warcraft Movie No One Noticed
For better or for worse, the Warcraft movie has been released into the world and is poised to become another video game movie that just couldn't break the great-game-bad-movie curse. While many of its fans like it, critics have been less than kind to the CGI-filled adventure through Azeroth. There are plenty of reasons to like the movie, but you could argue that there are just as many reasons to facepalm at it, especially when you consider some of the stupid things that happen (or don't happen). Be warned that there are SPOILERS AHEAD, and jump through the Dark Portal with us.
Durotan and Draka go through the Dark Portal, but alone?
Durotan is one of the main characters of the movie, and father to the future Warchief of the Horde, Thrall. Much of the movie is centered on him and his efforts to protect his wife Draka, his unborn child, and the Frostwolf clan of orcs. They have to escape their decaying homeworld of Draenor, so they hop through the Dark Portal to a new land. Now, we know it's just a landing party going through, so we weren't expecting a whole horde of orcs (heh, get it?), but why does it seem like Durotan and Draka are the only ones floating through the space between the Portals? We get that they're each other's worlds, but it's a little weird that we don't see more green dudes being hurtled through the Nether.
No one noticed Doomhammer freeing Durotan super-loudly
Orgrim Doomhammer is one of Durotan's best friends and, in many ways, is his right-hand man. So when he doubts Durotan's plan to get aid from the humans, talks to Guldan and subsequently gets his friend imprisoned, it kind of puts a damper on the friendship. Eventually, Doomhammer realizes he was wrong and helps free Draka and little baby Thrall during a raid on the Frostwolf camp, before coming to free Durotan himself. Doomhammer lives up to his name and uses his gigantic hammer to bludgeon the green off some orcs guarding Durotan, and frees him of his chains.
However, if you look closely at the above photo, that hammer is mighty big, and it makes a mighty loud crunch when caving in the skulls of Orgrim's enemies, so why didn't any other orcs notice that there were sounds of struggle near the spot they were keeping Durotan locked up? We're guessing that orcs are so used to battle, any fighting is just white noise for them.
Why didn't they just use gryphons to destroy the Dark Portal?
This is going to sound a lot like the whole "why didn't they just send the Eagles to Mount Doom" thing from Lord of the Rings, but it still bears questioning. All the Alliance had to do was send a whole bunch of gryphons to the Dark Portal to destroy it. We could see from the final battle that the orcs had no countermeasures for airborne assaults, because Lothar was able to fly in, unscathed, with his gryphon. Having maybe 15-20 gryphons carrying heavy rocks or mages that could blast apart the Dark Portal would have been pretty clutch. But we suppose Stormwind desperately needed the rest of its gryphons to take citizens to Goldshire or the Dark Moon Faire or something.
Why didn't Garona take the dagger out of Llane's neck?
In the climactic final battle, King Llane of Stormwind knows that death (in the form of Blackhand) is coming when Stormwind's forces are surrounded at the Dark Portal. He tells Garona to kill him so she can live and gain honor among the Horde. She reluctantly plunges her dagger — a gift from the queen — into his neck, right before Blackhand can claim him. She's honored as a hero, but when Lothar comes to bring Llane's body back, he notices Garona's dagger and sees her as a traitor. Now, it's insinuated that he hooked up with the half-orc hottie, so he's understandably feeling jilted, and even tries to turn Khadgar against her. All of this could have been avoided if Garona had just popped the dagger out of Llane's neck. We're sure she didn't think things through in the heat of the moment, but how about making it less difficult to achieve peace between humans and orcs?
Why did Khadgar leave Garona with Medivh, whom he thought was corrupted by the fel?
Throughout the whole movie, we're constantly being told how bad fel magic is and how it is fueled by life, corrupting everything around it. No one studies the effects of the fel more than the mage Khadgar, who goes as far as sneaking around to inspect bodies he believes to have been killed by the fel. He knows it's bad juju, so we're left to wonder why he left his friend Garona back at Karazhan with Medivh, an almighty being whom he suspected of being tainted by the fel. It's the equivalent of leaving a baby with a once-friendly neighborhood pitbull whom you think might have a touch of rabies. Think, Khadgar, think!
How did Stormwind's soldiers become experts at using boomsticks so quickly?
In the very beginning of the film, we're treated to a look at the Dwarven city of Ironforge, deep in the mountains. It's here that we see King Magni Bronzebeard present Lothar with the gift of a Boomstick, the latest in Dwarven engineering. Lothar is a great fighter and has great adaptability, but the gun takes a little getting used to for him. Later on, in the final battle, we see almost all of Stormwind's soldiers with boomsticks, firing off more shots than a freshman at a frat party. We suppose Ironforge's productions lines are pretty beefy, but we can't believe that Stormwind's soldiers became such sharpshooters in such a short time. After all, these are the kind of soldiers that can easily get sheeped because they have weak minds. Maybe Ash from Army of Darkness taught them everything he knows in one crash-course.