Disneyland's 1987 "Star Tours" ride tried to capture the magic of the movies by stuffing a gaggle of tourists into a glorified capsule and shaking them around for 15 minutes, all while rear-projection screens display dizzying stock footage footage from a galaxy far, far away. Your host for the evening? A bitter, rapping, Anthony Daniels.
Daniels, in his C-3PO garb, starts this hip-hop abomination by waxing sarcastic about his mortal frenemy, R2D2. Then, an oh-so-'80s backbeat — possibly sampled from Baby's First Casio — kicks in. During this excruciating minute-and-a-quarter, Threepio spits an awkward game, rapping about space facts, as well as BS space myths like how you can "eat all you want and you won't gain a pound / because there isn't any weight here like back on the ground." He also explains that R2-D2 can't rap because he has no "lips to flap." Thank goodness for that.
After failing to ape the Robot (which is sad for actual robots), the awful ordeal ends with cheap video effects, tailor-made to give epileptic viewers a seizure. We're shocked he only had a red arm in The Force Awakens. After this video, we thought his whole face would be red too.