Commercials you actually wanted to watch all the way through

For the most part, commercials serve as great excuses to use the bathroom or heat up your dinner before your show comes back on. But sometimes an ad comes along that's so bizarre, funny, intriguing, or engrossing, you can't help but sit through the entire thing. You may not have bought the products advertised, but you're definitely going to remember the way you learned about them.

Monster -- when I grow up

It's adorable to hear children talk about their big dreams. It's oddly gut-busting, however, to hear them talk about their middling, go-nowhere, depressing dreams, as proven by this classic ad.

These children don't want to be president or go to Mars — they want to "file all day," "claw [their] way up to middle management," and "be a yes man/woman." They just seem so proud of their goals, utterly determined to gain that all-important brown nose and be forced to retire early. The stark black-and-white shots and dramatic music make these saddest of finish lines even more sobering. A bunch of kids talking about working hard to go nowhere and, as one little girl reminds us, "be paid less for doing the same job," is perhaps the definition of Homer Simpson's "it's funny because it's true." Hopefully all these kids grew up to be something beyond underappreciated worker drones, but even if not, at least they've got this immortal ad to look back on.

Squatty Potty -- Dragon gold

The makers of Squatty Potty clearly don't take themselves too seriously, based on their endlessly cheeky ads all about how most people poop wrong and their product can fix that. Their ad with the dragon might be their best yet — it's almost four minutes long, but it's worth seeing through to the end.

The dragon, for whatever reason, poops gold, prompting our Prince Charming to actually bite one of the nuggets and exclaim, "That's real gold!" He then shows us various mythological creatures who suck at pooping, taking every possible opportunity to insult mermaids before unveiling that humans are the worst at it. Basically it's because when we sit to poop, a certain muscle squeezes everything and makes it hard for No. 2 to go through. But if you use the Squatty Potty to make your body squat, as we're naturally supposed to do when going, we can "potty like it's 1999." The jokes continue throughout, and they're actually good jokes.

We even get customer reviews read by the dragon, who sounds like Alvin the Chipmunk with an Irish accent, as you'd expect. Then comes the final jab: a fairy tale about a guy who didn't squat, and ultimately grew old and died while taking a single crap. Point made.

Starburst -- Little Lad

This ad isn't very long, but it'll certainly hold your interest until the end — you'll be way too engrossed to look away.

A couple guys are eating berries and cream Starbursts and commenting on how good they are. Along comes a grown man dressed as an old-fashioned dandy boy, who gets far too excited about the admittedly delicious candy. He then breaks out into song, chanting "Berries and cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream." Second verse is same as the first, only now he screeches the words out, ending with a scary grin that's less "happy child" and more "the man who will murder you in your sleep."

As the two guys stare at him in utter confusion, much like most viewers presumably did, the little lad punctuates his song with a random high-kick. As hilariously creepy as it was, the ad certainly made an impression. While the Little Lad likely didn't help sell many Berries and Cream Starbursts — they appear to have been discontinued for years — his place in advertising history is secure for a good long time.

Snickers -- Danny Trejo / Marcia Brady

Snickers' "You're not you when you're hungry" ad campaign rarely fails to amuse, and all apologies to Betty White, but Danny Trejo's might be the best one of all.

Taking place in the Brady Bunch household, we see the Man Named Brady and the Lovely Lady asking Trejo what happened. "Peter hit me in the nose with a football!" the gruff-and-gritty Trejo whines, before threatening to take "an eye for an eye." When his dad objects to the idea, Trejo yells for him to shut up, while slamming an ax into the wooden table. Mom tells him to eat a Snickers, all but calling him hangry. He takes one bite, which was exactly enough to make all the hanger disappear, and turns back into happy, peppy Marcia Brady.

Then we get the best twist: Steve Buscemi appears as a hangry Jan, whining "Marcia Marcia Marcia!" right on cue. She should be careful, though — whether in Trejo Mode or not, Marcia apparently knows how to swing an ax.

Kia -- Melissa McCarthy saves the world

Sometimes, what sounds like an idea for a movie works best as a commercial. That may well be the case with this Kia ad, featuring the premise, "What if Melissa McCarthy tried to save the world, but was terrible at it?" It might be a repetitive movie, but as a 60-second advert, it's the best.

McCarthy, for whatever reason, keeps getting summoned to be a hero, whether by saving whales, hugging a tree about to be chopped down, or protecting the polar ice caps. Each attempt ends in hilarious disaster: a blue whale crushes her boat and sends her flying, a guy cuts the tree she's on and sends her down a pit, and her attempt to save the rhinos ends with her eating tusk. As it turns out, this was all for Kia's Eco Hybrid model. So maybe McCarthy can't save the planet, but she can drive a planet-friendly car and help that way.

It's not just one ad — Kia released short follow-ups showing McCarthy failing to be a hero in all sorts of fun ways. She uses her backup camera to escape a charging rhino and later calls for roadside assistance while stuck on an iceberg. She also uses her car's heating/cooling functions to warm her seat while chilling the seat of the adorable penguin she's apparently bringing home from the Arctic. Maybe Kia will film a follow-up ad that's really a half-hour sitcom of McCarthy and the penguin living together.

Virgin Mobile -- Chrismahanukwanzakah

What holiday should you celebrate this winter season? Christmas? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Virgin Mobile suggests you celebrate them all. All at the same time!

The phone company's Chrismahanukwanzakah carol is one for the ages. It features lyrics like, "It's okay if you're a Muslim, a Christian, or a Jew," then Jewish rabbis chime in with, "It's okay if you're agnostic and you don't know what to do." It's either super-inclusive or super-offensive, depending on who you talk to. The second verse amps up the "somebody really greenlit this?" factor with a caveman grunting, "In some ways we're all monkeys, well maybe just a smidgen," a woman singing, "I'm a Scientologist," and our host cracking "that's kind of a religion." Then the song blatantly says cheap flip phones are more important than deciding whose religion is right, which takes stones for anyone to say, not least a phone company.

The commercial ends with a Tiny Tim-esque boy limping on stage and declaring, "This is gonna be the best Chrismahanukwanzakah ever!" That's an awesome catchphrase, one that will definitely make you the coolest person at any holiday party. Also, it's far more uplifting than the alternate ending, in which Tiny Tim coughs and dies. Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to everyone who's still alive!

Geico -- Bro bodybuilders

Geico might be the king of funny commercials, and here's one of their coolest ever. Very little "happens," in that it's just two guys lifting weights and talking about saving money on car insurance. But two things keep you watching. First, one of the bodybuilders just keeps getting bigger and bulkier. Even though he's only doing bicep curls, his entire body gets increasingly jacked every time the camera cuts back to him, and by the end of the ad he's almost as big as The Rock. That's some mighty effective car insurance. (The other guy doesn't bulk up a bit.)

What's more, the increasingly absurd nicknames the two give each other are awesome. Everything is a pun on "bro": brotein shake, brofessor, Teddy Brosevelt, and brotato chip. And if you can't get enough of their nicknames, Geico's got you covered, Abroham Lincoln. They released a three-minute "brocabulary" video, in the style of an old Electric Company VHS, that teaches you such words as Vincent Van Bro, avbrocado, brodeo clown, and bronoculars, among others. Whether it makes you want to switch to Geico is your choice, but you can't deny how memorable this ad campaign is, Super Nintenbro.

Got Milk -- The Rock is out of milk

When you need milk, you need milk, especially if you're The Rock and you've got three little girls who need something to moisten their cereal. So in perhaps the most entertaining Got Milk commercial since Aaron Burr call-in radio show of the early '90s, we have The Rock discovering he's out of milk. Also, the world is descending into chaos all around him: cats are stuck in trees, burglars are robbing banks in broad daylight, an escaped lion has trapped some old ladies in their car, and hostile aliens have invaded Earth. But nothing's more important than running down the milk truck and getting his precious moo juice. Kitty cats, big cats, burglars, and aliens are just going to have to wait.

Finally, he gets his milk (which he never pays for, because who's going to demand The Rock hand over money?) and bring it to the girls. Once that's done, and he gets a gulp in, he can finally focus on the task at hand: saving the world and punching the crap out of alien scum. It's a commercial that works both as an immensely entertaining standalone ad, and a preview for a possible new Rock sci-fi/action film down the line. Anything to keep him from doing Tooth Fairy 3.

Call of Duty: WWII -- Getting the gang back together

Probably no Call of Duty era is more beloved than World War II (the game version, not the real one). So for Call of Duty: WWII, Activision unleashed an ad showing players who used to fight together in CoD reuniting years later for another go with the Second War To End All Wars.

It looks, sounds, and feels like an action movie trailer, as the squad assembles one by one. Some are reluctant as they've got spouses, kids, and careers, but each time they're quickly convinced to rejoin the fold. One woman — "The Sharpshooter," who is actively hustling a kid at darts, like any great mom would — agrees the second her squad says they hired her a babysitter. It culminates in a cool, Ocean's Eleven-style shot of the squad strutting down the street … until a little girl on a tricycle crosses their path, gives them a fairly dirty look, then slowly bikes away. Then, we're back to strutting.

Activision also released British and French versions of this ad, and both are just as fun. Each offer the same formula: squad gets together, it's not always who you expect ("The Butcher" isn't the big burly guy, but the skinny runt working behind him, and the squad member in a courtroom isn't a spectator, but the judge herself), and someone crosses their path at the end (a boy playing soccer in the U.K. version, and an old lady exiting a shop in the French). Even if you can't understand French, you'll enjoy this ad just as much as the others.

Old Spice -- Muscle music

Old Spice knows how to make a wonderfully surreal ad, especially if it stars Terry Crews. This ad, which doubles as an interactive game, is perhaps the coolest.

Crews, hanging out in the "Old Spice Danger Zone" shows off his musical prowess, in the form of electrodes attached to just about every muscle on his body. The other end of the electrode is attached to a musical instrument, and every time he flexes, the electrode plays the instrument. His pecs play the bass drum, his abs play the keyboards, and he can somehow play multiple instruments at once. Eat your protein, kids.

Crews yelling throughout makes the commercial even more fun, especially when he announces a sax solo. But not just any sax solo — a flaming sax solo. He then manages to flex nearly every muscle in his body to produce a grand finale for the ages. And when the commercial came out, you could play with his body (in a G-rated, musical way of course) on the internet to make him play the music you want. That's no longer a thing, but you can still enjoy the tunage he created. Just try not to stare too hard at the giant, papier-mache Terry Crews head chilling on the side, for you might not sleep ever again if you do.