Bloopers that make us love wrestling even more

Like every sport, pro wrestling has its share of goofy bloopers. And much like other sports, wrestling's bloopers are often more entertaining than the actual, unblemished product. Gaffes like the following remind us why we still watch wrestling — unintentional comedy is always worth it.

Hulk Hogan can't talk

Hulk Hogan is unquestionably one of the best talkers in wrestling history. But to see this video of him performing on Smackdown in 2003, you'd have no idea.

In this clip, Hogan and Vince McMahon are having an old-man fight, regarding who was most responsible for the '80s wrestling boom. At one point, McMahon claims anyone could've been Hulk Hogan because he was the boss and Hogan was just a subordinate. This prompted Hogan to say, "If you actually think I was just the right guy in the right place at the right time…" Or rather, attempt to say, because the last part came out as "in the right place at the wrong — at the right time." One word can make a boatload of difference, you see. Since Smackdown was taped, Hogan attempted to say the line again, and fumbled once again. That resulted in "If you actually think that I was the right gay — guy."

It gets worse. Hogan moves on to remind McMahon of a match he had with The Rock, as a way to set up a match between Hogan and McMahon. But instead we get "I had a match with you a couple of, I had a…" He then collects his thoughts and delivers the line perfectly, and the crowd roars with approval. Sadly, by this point it was like cheering for a 10-year-old who finally learned to not go poopy in their pants.

Mean Gene gets mean

It was always a mystery why Gene Okerlund's nickname was "Mean." There didn't seem to be a mean bone in him — he was just a backstage interviewer who mostly sympathized with the good guys. Plus, he was physically unimposing: a short, chubby, middle-aged, balding dude with a non-threatening mustache, who looked like he could moonlight as Fred the Dunkin' Donuts baker's stunt double. But at SummerSlam '89, he showed a dark, shockingly vulgar side no fan will soon forget.

It was to be a standard interview, where Okerlund would get Ravishing Rick Rude's thoughts on his upcoming match with the Ultimate Warrior. However, he couldn't get more than a few words out before the big SummerSlam banner behind them went crashing to the floor. A startled Okerlund yelled out "f**k it" as the camera immediately panned back to the crowd while announcers Jesse "I'm Gonna Be A Governor One Day" Ventura and Tony "I Won't" Schiavone attempt to both save face and avoid corpsing on live TV. An uncut version of Okerlund's outburst shows him ranting, "f**k it, publicly stated … dammit, who put that up, was that $200 an hour?" And you thought Stone Cold Steve Austin was the first guy to introduce swearing to the WWF universe.

WrestleMania 24's lights go out

Remember when the Super Bowl lost power shortly after Beyonce's Halftime performance? WrestleMania 24 had a similar issue, with the lights going out right in the middle of a match.

Halfway through Melina Perez and Beth Phoenix vs Ashley Massaro and Maria NoLastName, all the lights in the Citrus Bowl suddenly went dark. Obviously, the crowd had no clue what was going on — usually, lights out meant the Undertaker was on his way, but he had little reason to interfere in a Diva's match (unless he was big into Snoop Dogg and wanted an autograph). After about 10 seconds of the wrestlers flailing in total darkness, WWE was at least able to shine a spotlight on the ring, which actually made for a really cool effect. For those few minutes, WrestleMania looked like an ultra-old-school WWF house show from the early '80s, where there was no pyro, snazzy graphics, or gigantic entrance stages. Just an aisle, a ring, and a couple of lights.

Luckily, the spotlight was on the ring for the finale, which saw a beefy pro wrestler named Santino Marella get knocked senseless by Snoop Dogg, a guy with all the muscle mass of a fourth-grader. Wrestling is so realistic.

Kalisto's good lucha thing

Some wrestlers are amazing talkers. Others are Kalisto, who unintentionally made a perfect argument for why WWE needs more managers who can talk for those that can't.

During the 2016 WWE Draft, Kalisto found himself drafted to Smackdown, which is both a TV show and a fictional separate brand from Raw, which is also a TV show but also a brand. Both are real-life and in-storyline owned by WWE, but are portrayed as competing companies because it's wrestling, stop asking questions. After the announcer asked him his thoughts, Kalisto gave what was probably a great speech in his head, but in practice sounded exactly like a third-grader stumbling through their part in the school Thanksgiving pageant:

"Well, eh, I'm h- like I said before, I'm here, to shock the world. I'm ready. I'm ready to show, my luchaartinsideandoutsidethering [yes, he said it that fast]. But first of all, I can't stop thinking about Baroncorn … Barryin Corbin [Baron Corbin] being on Smackdown. Ha! I get to have my revenge. Is that ok? … Hey, like I said, I'm here, to stay. And make … make a … uh … make a good … uh, a good luchas … uh, lucha thing."

Even if CM Punk's pipe bomb was caked in decades of rust, it wouldn't have been this terrible. And Kalisto immediately knew he screwed up, running off and shouting what sounded like "g*dammit, woo!" He then presumably made a promise to shock the world by never speaking again and concentrating entirely on flipping.

Lex Luger's shirt is too tight

Lex Luger was never the greatest talker, but he did well for what he was. But then he hit NWA Cyberspace in 2004. Asked by an interviewer about his upcoming match with Ron "R-Truth" Killings, whatever Luger planned to say went completely out the window.

First, he botched the word "despicable," which is only acceptable when Daffy Duck does it. Then he ignores the point of the promo — Killings — in favor of calling out "Billy Whatshisname" for daring to book him in the first place. Then he forgot the name of an upcoming show, calling it "SuperBrawl" then "Super Saturday" before being reminded it was "SuperBrawl Saturday." He then rhetorically asks, "Can he even afford to pay me?" before answering with "I DON'T KNOWWWWW!" with hammy overacting to rival any star in any movie MST3K mocked. He then botched another line with "I'm one of the biggest legends — stars in this … GAAHHHHH!" before trying to pull off his shirt … and failing to do so. To his credit, he improvises with the immortal line "and your T-shirts are too tight, too, Billy!" Forget Sting: Lex Luger's toughest opponent was a snug bit of cotton.

He then storms off in a huff, and if he knew what "going viral" meant, he had to have known he was about to do just that. Even the interviewer can't keep it together, corpsing magnificently as the camera fades out. Who knew being the "Total Package" included being such a comedian?

Batista bumps too late

One of the first things you learn in wrestling school is how to bump (fall properly). The next thing you learn is how to organically do it in a match, so it looks less like you're falling on purpose, and more like your opponent knocked you down. Here's a moment where Batista forgot that second lesson completely.

Batista was about to powerbomb John Cena when Mark Henry came to the rescue. Batista went to attack him, but caught a headbutt and shove for his troubles. Rather than bump immediately, or simply stumble around while Henry got in the ring, Batista took several steps backward to the center of the ring, then took the most obvious self-bump in televised wrestling history, without anyone touching him. It 100 percent looked like he was still in class, practicing bumps with the rest of the rookies. Perhaps this moment convinced him to pursue a career where he could do multiple takes of something until he got it right. If so, then thank God for this blooper, because it indirectly gave us Drax the Destroyer.

Lamelo Ball and the N-word

Basketball fans are well aware of the Ball family and how very (to put it mildly) off-the-cuff they can be. So why WWE thought it would be a good idea to invite them to speak on Raw remains a mystery. But here they are: father LaVar, elder son and NBA star Lonzo, and youngest son Lamelo, jawjacking with The Miz on live TV. LaVar responds to Miz shirtless with a series of weird b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b sounds, and then he rips his own shirt off. That's pretty goofy, but that's not the blooper. No, that would be when Dean Ambrose comes to the ring and Lamelo responds by telling Ambrose, on the microphone and crystal-clear as a summer's day, to "beat that ni*** ass! Beat that ni*** ass!"

You can tell how shocked the Raw announcers were by how silent they were. Nobody was making jokes, nobody was hyping up Ambrose, nobody was saying anything. They were likely getting instructions from an enraged Vince McMahon on how to react. We hope McMahon, for his part, added the entire Ball family to the list of people he'll never invite on his show again.

All things Shockmaster

Occasionally, wrestlers will hype up a "mystery partner" that winds up being an actual mystery, in that no one's ever heard of the mystery character before. Sometimes this works, and we get the Undertaker out of the deal. Other times, we get the Shockmaster.

Shockmaster was introduced to WCW in 1993 as part of Sting's War Games team. As Sting announced his arrival, pyro started blazing and he came crashing through the wall. That was supposed to look cool and intimidating, except he tripped on the hole in the wall and fell right on his face. His helmet came off, and any hope that this guy would look like a menace was gone forever. To be fair, he probably would have looked stupid even if he hadn't tripped: His costume was jeans, cowboy boots, a long sleeveless coat, and a mask that was nothing more than a Stormtrooper helmet covered in glitter. Also, he "spoke" through a recorded message that made him sound like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget.

Either way, the blooper meant the character was ruined. Shockmaster became a fat, clumsy guy named Uncle Fred who wore a hardhat and entered battle to the single worst theme song of all time. He probably longed for his WWF days, when he was Typhoon and people actually thought he was menacing.

Booker T and the N-word

The N-word basically never works in wrestling, or anywhere for that matter. This is something poor Booker T learned all too well in WCW.

At Spring Stampede 1997, Booker T, along with his then-partner Stevie Ray, were in a Four-Corners match with Lex Luger and The Giant. Booker's pre-match promo was going great for a while. He hit all points, was clear with his words and threats, made sure to call people "suckas," and called out Hulk Hogan at the end, saying either he or his brother were going to take his title once they were done with Luger and Giant. Unfortunately, Booker got so riled up, he forgot what words he definitely should not say on a family show, and he blurted out, "Hulk Hogan, we comin' for you, ni**a!" The second he said it, he immediately knew he had screwed up, burying his face in his hands and very clearly acting unhappy with himself.

Luckily for him, there was no career backlash, just some backstage goofing. According to Stevie Ray, several wrestlers were ribbing him for the gaffe, calling him "ni**a" and the like. The next night, some wrestlers backstage told Hogan that Booker had called him a ni**a. Hogan's response was, "that's okay, man, at least I'm a good ni**a." Everyone loved the response, and any heat was completely off Booker T. As for Hogan and his use of the N-word, let's just say the heat on him is still white-hot.

Akeem falls through the ropes

This one's straight out of America's Sweatiest Home Videos and is proof that even the sturdiest ring rope can only handle so much weight at one time.

This match occurred sometime in 1989, when Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage were feuding with Big Bossman and Akeem, a team with a name that would not work today at all: the Twin Towers. Bossman and Akeem were double-teaming Savage when they decide to both run to the ropes and hit Savage with big splashes. Unfortunately, two 350-pound men hitting the top rope at the same time caused it to go back just a little too far, sending Akeem sliding under it and to the ground below. Not that it would've mattered for the match, as Savage moved out of the way and Bossman ate nothing but mat.

You can see Hogan moving in Akeem's direction to check on him, but he was okay. He probably wasn't even that embarrassed. After all, his character was a white guy who thought he was a jive-talking, soul-dancing black man from "Deepest, Darkest Africa." You're not allowed to blush at anything after that.