5 Classic Rock Songs Boomers Would Rather Forget

For every Led Zeppelin, there's a Captain & Tennille. Actually, there might be more C&Ts than Zeppelins, but few of the former make it to No. 1. Baby boomers, however, had the fortune/misfortune of being subjected to both in their formative years. Even though the best of boomer music earns them bragging rights over other generations, the worst of it is annoying, overplayed, overrated, and best forgotten.

Elder boomers (born 1946 to 1954) roughly came of age in the '60s, and Generation Jones (born 1955 to 1964) in the '70s. With that in mind, our song choices can't extend too far into the '80s and need to be especially hackle-raising to boomers. This means tracks that have some intrinsically irritating or cringe quality to their music, lyrics, presentation, etc., contain off-putting subject matter, or have been played to death (or any combination of the three). And since we're focusing on classic rock, we can bundle subgenres under our umbrella, like yacht rock. 

All this being said, there are going to be people who love each of our choices. So, the reader can more or less take this article in the spirit of a roast (much less, in one case). We've got generational classics that have long since worn out their welcome, plus a ghastly song about amorous animals and others that are embarrassing, unsettling, and just plain phony.

Whoa, whoa, music lovers — this isn't our choice. It's the boomers who want to excise "Stairway to Heaven" from musical memory. Not all boomers, mind you, but a lot of them are ardently sick of "Stairway to Heaven," so tired of it being played again and again on classic rock radio stations (and music stores). Ironically, they'll never be able to hear it with the same kind of fresh wonder as new listeners or those of younger generations. No matter that the song played a big role in elevating 1971 to classic rock's best year, and no matter that Jimmy Page's "Stairway to Heaven" guitar solo is considered among the best in classic rock history. To many boomers, "Stairway to Heaven" is more of a stairway to Hell.

It's not too hard to see boomers' perspectives on this one. After all, we've all got songs from our youth that drive us up the wall, even if we originally liked them. Some boomers legitimately think the song has always been overrated, though, which only adds to the desire to expunge it from the mind and ears. This is true despite the song's brilliant compositional qualities, like guitarist Jimmy Page's use of a descending line cliché (the lowest note moving down bit by bit) during the song's opening acoustic plucking section. Then again, the song's length bugs some folks, too. That's one of the reasons why it was never released as a single and was such an unlikely candidate for taking off like it did.

But cheer up, boomers who maybe feel sheepish about proclaiming their dislike of a song that some consider the greatest ever written: Zeppelin singer Robert Plant isn't too fond of the tune either. You're in good company.

We're going to say it: "American Pie" is an annoying song. It'd be annoying even if it wasn't overplayed, which it is. Boomers who grew up hearing "American Pie" on release in 1971 and '72 (and collectively, millions of times since then) can keep the nostalgia for their formative years, keep the wistfulness for a lost '60s dream, ignore the song's (partially) real meaning about the deaths of singers like Buddy Holly, and stow the song itself. They can also keep the song's Weird Al "Star Wars" parody, "The Saga Begins," and that 1999 bawdy comedy of the same name, "American Pie." Oh, and they can keep actual American pies, like apple crumble. They're good. 

Yes, Don McLean is practically rock royalty because of "American Pie." A poll from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Recording Industry Association of America ranked the song within the top five songs of the entire 20th century, up there with "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "White Christmas." The song went to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and stayed there for four weeks in 1972 — both parts one and two. That's a nearly nine-minute song, which makes the feat even more impressive. 

But at this point, "American Pie" is too, too overplayed no matter its nostalgic pull and too, too irritating compositionally. It's a repetitive sing-along tune that leans too heavily into its chorus and alludes to depth that it never fulfills, in part by dropping vague allusions left and right (James Dean, helter skelter, Jack Flash, etc.). Not every boomer considers it presumptuous and dull, but we're betting that those who've heard it with fresh ears have heard right through it.

What a horrific cosmic mistake "Muskrat Love" was. Hokey, giga-cringe yacht rock duo Captain & Tennille had already dumped 1975's trashterpiece "Love Will Keep Us Together" onto the public the year before "Muskrat Love" reached a baffling No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100. The latter isn't Nuremberg trials-worthy or anything, but when lyrics include, "Now, he's tickling her fancy / Rubbing her toes / Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes / As they wriggle and Sue starts to giggle," you know reality's gone horribly wrong. Boomers bore the brunt of this blow — we commend you for your service. And yeah, did we mention the song is about two canoodling muskrats?

If you're a boomer, you know this. If you're not, we apologize. "Muskrat Love" isn't a metaphor or symbol. It's literally a song about two beaver-like mammals, "Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam," "Nibbling on bacon / Chewing on cheese," and "Do[ing] the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land / And they shimmy / Sam is so skinny," with the chorus saying, "And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed / Singing and jingling the jango." Feel free to grab a glass of water to wash down that vomit. 

Captain & Tennille's "Muskrat Love" was a cover, though. It's Willis Alan Ramsey who wrote it. What madness drove him to do so? No idea. Ramsey was just a singer-songwriter who put out one, self-named album in 1972. Maybe the album got whatever "it" was out of his system, but the damage was done, anyway. While some boomers appreciate "Muskrat Love" as a gag, others consider it the '70s worst song. 

Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band's "Old Time Rock & Roll" is like a song that people made up to make fun of out-of-touch elders. As the song says, "I reminisce about the days of old / With that old time rock and roll." But rather than being a rallying cry for all boomers, young and old, plenty of boomers actually despise this song, no matter if they like Seger in general. 

Like a young, underweared Tom Cruise sliding into frame in 1983's "Risky Business" (the movie that popularized Seger's song), maybe "Old Time Rock & Roll" belongs more to younger folks fed up with the musical present than older folks pining for a time long gone. Like other songs in this article, boomers (and perhaps others) are largely tired of "Old Time Rock & Roll" because it's been ruined by incessant radio airplay. The song actually sits in the middle of Seger's compendium of Billboard Hot 100 songs at No. 28. But Seger's also got 31 songs in the Hot 100 from 1968 to 1991, which means that people who grew up with him really couldn't avoid him. Plus, there's something about the music itself, or maybe Seger's image, that irritates some boomers.

As one boomer who grew up hearing Seger says on Defending Axl Rose, "He still reminds me of my Dad a little too much and his backing band has a name that makes me think of crappy beer." Basically, we interpret this to mean Seger is a bit lame, tepid, or staid. For boomers who want to avoid this association, Seger is on the forget list.

It's sad and ironic that a song called "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" is a No. 1 song that die-hard rock fans actually hate. In 1982, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts' hit stayed at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for an incredible seven weeks. That's part of the reason why it's hated, because it was so, so overplayed. It's also a cover of a 1975 Arrows track, which means it automatically loses authenticity cred. Take both of these elements and add to them Jett's try-hard rock girl schtick, and you've got a recipe for a song that plenty of boomers think is shallow, fake, overly simple, and flat-out annoying. There are far worse songs in existence, but they aren't the 15th most-played classic rock song in radio history.

"I Love Rock 'n' Roll" is extra annoying because it feels like it's 90% chorus. The entire final minute of the song is just the chorus repeated again and again with minimal variation. The rest of the tune is full of copy-pasted licks, a handful of power chords, those incessant claps, and a stock melody. You can predict what's going to happen on the first listen, let alone the 25,742nd listen. 

And what the heck is the song even about? As the pre-chorus says, "And next we were movin' on / He was with me, yeah, me / Next we were movin' on / He was with me, yeah, me, singin'." What's happening here? Someone who's with another person is changing locations? Putting a dime in the jukebox, baby? That's it? Well, boomers, just forget it all. Keep the memories of the jukeboxes, though. They're cool.