The Top 10 Rock Song Titles, Ranked Worst To Best

Song titles are the elevator pitch of any great track. Thus, the more evocative and descriptive the better. Sure, U2, Metallica, Three Dog Night, and countless others have put out songs just called "One," and, yes, even that can have a certain profundity. Yet it's so non-descriptive that listening to the track itself is necessary to glean the actual intent. For this list we wanted to look at the songs whose titles are stories unto themselves.

Our list runs the gamut from the soulful poetry of Leonard Cohen to the morbid derangement of Tom Waits, with many a clever turn of phrase to be found throughout. "Worst" in this context is a fairly nebulous line of demarcation since they're all profound in their own way, so consider this a collection of titles whose "best" certification requires less and less supporting justification the further it goes. 

Nobody does misanthropic resignation like Tom Waits, as evidenced by "Earth Died Screaming," the opening track off of 1992's "Bone Machine." An opening title like that signals that things are about to go downhill in the best way possible. We're counting this one as the worst of the best for its extremely dour but no less illustrative tone. Moreover, it's the kind of title that conveys exactly what moribund yarns are in store for the intrepid listener. And it made for a great centerpiece on the soundtrack for director Terry Gilliam's 1995 dystopian time-traveling plague epic "12 Monkeys."

Whose head doesn't fill with magical realms of psychedelic mystery when they hear the title of this immortal Beatles classic? Well, turns out the hidden meaning of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" doesn't have anything to do with Charlie Brown's therapist living the luxury high life. In reality, it was inspired by a drawing done by John Lennon's son Julian depicting a preschool classmate of whom he was fond. Nevertheless, it remains a beloved classic off of one of rock's most groundbreaking albums with a title full of poetic implications. 

Jim Morrison was rock poetry's lizard king throughout the latter portion of the 1960s, but it was actually Robby Krieger who wrote the majority of "Light My Fire," the band's signature hit, including the iconic title. It is a simple but rich sentiment: There's passion, hope, and a romantic spark all implied in the three words that made the Doors a household name throughout the Flower Power years and an enduring, godlike presence in rock history. Almost 60 years later and those three words are still taking boomers back to their first high school party.

Sure, Meatloaf's 1993 megahit has a title with all the fantasy romance novel grandeur of Jim Stienman's best writing. Yet it's also a great branding exercise. For years listeners have asked, "What is the 'that' in the title referring to?" Well, as Meatloaf himself explained in his episode of "VH1 Storytellers," the answer is contained in the lyrics if you're paying attention. Nevertheless, the question was tantalizing enough to get fans talking and, more importantly, buying. Proof that the right combination of imagination and clever marketing can get you rocketing up the charts like a bat out of hell. 

It might seem like an obvious choice, and that's because it's obvious for a reason: The title "Stairway to Heaven" has captured the imaginations of listeners for generations. Exact interpretations of the title (and the song as a whole) remain elusive, but that only adds to the appeal. Contemplating the track's cryptic mystery and never arriving at a conclusion is the point, and a definitive resolution to the mystery would only sully the transcendent experience. Thus, we are meant to learn that the journey is the destination — even when we're ascending a stairway into the cosmos. 

Blue Öyster Cult cemented themselves in the annals of rock history with their 1975 hit "Don't Fear the Reaper," and if you couldn't tell, they actually have quite a knack for great song titles. "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" is a prime example because there are layers to it. There's the obvious literal imagery of telepaths engaged in intergalactic battles. But then there's a deeper implication that this could all be a metaphor for the mental strain of a toxic relationship or some other source of metal fatigue. Though the lyrics never fully resolve the question, the song goes great in the soundtrack to the sci-fi midnight classic "Heavy Metal." 

It is true that Marillion was one of those prog bands that went mainstream with a pop hit, but that never lightened their lyrical depth, as demonstrated by "Script for a Jester's Tear." All too often rock lyrics reduce heartache to banal descriptions of whiny angst, but original Marillion vocalist Fish elevates the concept into the realms of a bardic lyric poet. It's all there in a single phrase: The professional buffoon quietly lamenting his role as the butt of the joke that is his life. Alas, poor Yorick, he rocks quite well! 

In "I Hate Myself for Loving You," Joan is describing what the Germans call "hassliebe," the strange confluence of love and hate that arises from toxic codependency. It's one of those uncomfortable realities: that we sometimes get our most polarizing emotions from the same source. Rock 'n' roll is nothing if not blunt, and the same is undeniably true of our leather-clad heroine Joan Jett. So with a wink and a nod, she's diving into something profound with her signature bad girl charm. 

Ranking the best covers of "Hallelujah" may dominate discussions of Leonard Cohen, but only because he had the unique ability to distill the vast intricacies of love and romance into poignant turns of lyrical phrase. "Dance me to the End of Love" is one of his best such expressions, as it contains an entire story in a single phrase. The lyrics go on to elaborate on that simple narrative: A single dance, at once so passionate and exciting, carries with it all the enticing thoughts of the future. 

There's a lot of blunt force symbolism in Pink Floyd's 1979 magnum opus "The Wall," and its centerpiece, the three-part "Another Brick in the Wall," is the ultimate statement of rock and roll alienation. Rock songs tend to focus on the big things in life, but the reality is it's never just one traumatic event that cuts us off from the world — it's the little things that build up over time. Death of a loved one? Sadistic schoolteachers? A cheating spouse? All in all, it's just another brick in the wall.