10 scientific effects that happen when a man grows a beard

As you've probably noticed by now, beards are in. These days, the scruffy look once reserved for mountain men, lumberjacks, and hippies can be seen everywhere from billboards to fashion runways to business conferences. Don't believe those occasional headlines proclaiming that the end of the bearded era is nigh: while fashion always moves in trends, beards aren't going anywhere, anytime soon.

Ask anyone who has ever bearded up, and they'll tell you that life changes once you embrace your inner werewolf. People look at you differently. You feel different. As a whole, the impact that a beard has upon a person's life is way bigger than you might think, and to back that up, here are some scientific studies that have been done on beards — many of which, one would assume, may have been conducted by bearded men. Here's what happens when you grow a beard.

Hey, you've only got a short time left on this Earth, and do you really want to spend 3,350 hours of it standing in front of a mirror, scraping sharp metal against your cheeks? Didn't think so. Lest you claim that this whole "3,350 hours" business was pulled out of thin air, that number actually comes from the New York Times, and it's a fair estimate for how long the average man spends shaving during his lifetime. No matter how hard, how often, or how aggressively you shave, your bristles will grow back a little every day. Now zoom in one all those little facial hairs and picture them as a forest of tree trunks: The perpetual act of chopping them down, day after day, seems like a lumberjack's endless existential nightmare.

Strange visions aside, the fact is that kicking shaving to the curb will restore over 3,000 hours to your life, so you can finally take on that project you've been dreaming of. Or at the very least, you can watch some more TV.

Guys who live in wintry climates always seem to sprout bushy beards, and that's because having that extra layer of insulation does exactly what you think it would. According to Anthony M. Rossi, a dermatologist interviewed by the Wall Street Journal, wintertime beards are essentially all-natural scarves. According to Popular Science, these hairy scarves keep the skin underneath 1 degree warmer than it is in unguarded areas, which might sound small but definitely makes a big difference. Some researchers have even proposed that the entire evolutionary purpose of the beard was to keep the face warm, though if this was the case, it makes you wonder why most women don't also have beards.

Either way, if you ever decide to sign up for a seasonal job in Antarctica, or are simply terrified of making it through your next New England winter, it's probably time to grow out some thick whiskers.

The one big downside about having facial hair is that food and beverages always seem to get lost in the bushes. When you order a pint of beer, you get used to wiping the foam off your lip every time you take a gulp. You definitely never stop to think about just how much beer might be getting wasted. It can't be a big deal, right?

Wrong. Because humans are indescribably weird and obsessed with bizarre things, this phenomenon became the focus of a real scientific study in 2000, funded by (you guessed it) Guinness. Yes, really. According to the Guardian, research found that, altogether, about 162,719 pints of Guinness gets lost in the hairy lip bushes of U.K. drinkers every year. Apparently the average whiskered stout fan loses about 0.56 milliliters of beverage in their mustache, and this loss only gets worse with the more facial hair you have. This annoying "beerd tax" adds up, and according to Pacific San Diego, if you drink 180 pints a year, your total yearly loss could be about a pint and a half. What a waste of a good drink!

It goes without saying that growing a beard will change the way you look. However, similar to how dying your hair purple and yellow might raise a few eyebrows, having a beard also redefines people's impression of you.

Is this good or bad? Depends on your outlook. According to Psychology Today, studies have shown that men with beards are generally regarded as more masculine, dominant, and socially mature. They are also usually regarded as more responsible, older, fatherly figures, at a glance. On the other hand, New Republic cited a 2012 study where men were photographed both bearded and clean-shaven, then told to make a range of expressions. When these photos were shown to other participants, the pictures of bearded "angry" expressions were rated as looking way more aggressive than the angry clean-shaven ones. If you think Marvel's Thanos was an intimidating dude in Infinity War, just wait until you see his bushy purple beard in Avengers 4.