Craziest weapons in video game history

Video games are no strangers to bizarre, over-the-top weaponry that intends to astonish the user just as much as it's meant to blow up the bad guys. We've seen ginormous, unwieldy swords swung by scrawny heroes throughout the Final Fantasy series, and have even used a laser-watch in GoldenEye 007. There are all kinds of crazy guns and gizmos you can use to demolish your adversaries to smithereens, so we've decided to assemble a showcase-worthy arsenal of the craziest weapons we could find. Just remember to aim the pointy end—or in one case, the stinky end—at the enemy before firing.

Saints Row IV: Dubstep Gun

Whether you like dubstep or not, you have to admit that Saints Row IV's electronic music-based weapon is unlike anything you've ever seen before. Dubstep might sound like love-making music for robots, but we still love it. Sure, we've seen plenty of weapons emit loud noises in the past (even to the point of heads exploding), but the Dubstep Gun brings the party wherever you bring it. You just aim, fire, and listen to those electronic beats bang as anyone nearby starts to get down. We also love that it looks like a giant DJ set, and that it's carried around like one of those ghetto blaster radios hip-hop fans used to rock in the '80s.

Perfect Dark: Laptop Gun

Perfect Dark was an amazing successor to GoldenEye 007, but it unfortunately never got the acclaim it deserved. Nevertheless, this first-person shooter is filled with all kinds of astounding weaponry from the Carrington Institute. We love the FarSight XR-20, a wall-piercing sniper rifle equipped with an x-ray scope, but even better is the Laptop Gun. This assault rifle has a high rate of fire and zooms wherever you aim it. Best of all, it can be disguised as a laptop. Sure, it takes a few seconds to fold it into place and chamber a round from its disguised look, but once you do, you've got magic in your hands. On top of that, you can chuck the thing and deploy it as an automatic sentry gun! Just leave this baby on the ceiling or on the ground by a major walkway, and watch your kill count go sky-high without even pulling a trigger. You can even just drop it next to you and switch to a different weapon, so you and your turret can start mowing down enemies together. With MacBook prices the way they are, Apple should start taking notes.

Fallout: Experimental MIRV

Ever since its debut in Fallout 3, the experimental MIRV has been a weapon everyone talks about. The Fallout series was already known for its Fat Man mini-nuke launcher, which may not have been as devastating as its world-changing big brother, but was still able to clear a good city block or two with every warhead fired. What does the MIRV do that is so different? It fires eight mini-nukes at once, making it the most devastating weapon in your arsenal. Want to clear out entire camps of raiders, ghouls, or mutants? Just aim the MIRV in the general direction of where you want everything to die, and pull the trigger. While it might eat through your stockpile of mini-nukes faster than a pack of feral ghouls on a plump human, the explosions are totally worth it.

Red Faction Armageddon: Mr. Toots

Mr. Toots is a weapon unrivaled in the video game medium. This Red Faction: Armageddon firearm is actually a little unicorn that fires explosive, rainbow-colored laser blasts from his rear-end. All hail the Nyan Cat, because this gun is absolutely hilarious. Watching Mr. Toots' face wince in pain from every rainbow projectile launched from his butt makes us think that it's not particularly fun to shoot lasers out the old poop chute. Nevertheless, nothing beats killing your enemies with a mini-unicorn's projectile laser farts. Best of all, the enemies you kill with Mr. Toots blow up into butterflies and rainbow-y chunks.

Half-Life: Gravity gun

Say hello to the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator, better known as the Gravity Gun. As the eternal wait for Half-Life 3 continues, PC gamers around the globe remember the Gravity Gun as one of the greatest firearms ever made. This sci-fi weapon has two primary firing options. The primary fire mode is just a Force Push sort of thing that kinetically knocks back obstacles and barriers out of your way. You can also use it to knock nearby baddies off their feet. The secondary fire mode is the Gravity Gun's bread and butter. Using a tractor beam-like mechanic, the Gravity Gun can pick up objects in your environment with ease. The object is automatically whisked in front of the gun, and you can then use the primary fire button to launch the object at a high velocity directly in front of you like a giant bullet. Nothing beats picking up circular buzzsaw blades and hurling them at the enemy at breakneck speeds.

Turok 2: Cerebral Bore

The Turok: Dinosaur Hunter series is no stranger to awesome weaponry. We loved the original game's Tek Bow and all the alternate forms of ammo you could use for your weapons, like the explosive shells for the Auto Shotgun. The series' Quad Rocket Launcher, Particle Accelerator, Fusion Cannon, and Chronoscepter are all worthy of their own entries on this list, but we're going to have to go with Turok 2: Seeds of Evil's Cerebral Bore. This alien weapon fires a homing bore that zeroes in on its target, drills into their head, and detonates. Anyone familiar with the Phantasm horror movie series should be a fan of what this weapon does. Watching your enemies panic and yell in pain as the bore drills into their head is absolutely gruesome. Seeing their heads explode is just the icing on top.

South Park: Cow Launcher

The 1998 Nintendo 64 South Park game marks one of the first times Kenny, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman ever hit the video game world. As you'd expect, their video game debut was as crazy as their animated television series. South Park didn't dive into political and societal satire during its first few seasons as much as it does now, and this shows in their N64 game. The game was random, vulgar, and all kinds of awesome, with pee-coated snowballs, dodgeballs, Terrance & Phillip Dolls, and even a Sniper Chicken in its repertoire of weird weapons. Our favorite, however, would have to be the Cow Launcher. This weapon replaced the overused and cliche rocket launcher with a similar piece which hurled mooing bovines that exploded on impact. Watching the cows explode into gory and fart-filled clouds was a delightful treat for our younger selves. While South Park wasn't particularly good by first-person shooter standards, its weirdness and hilarity helped open the doors for all the other awesome guns featured on this list.