Wizard Rock, a famed 1-ton boulder, has disappeared in plain sight

If you think lifting a dresser upstairs is hard work, here's a riddle for you: how do you go about stealing a 1-ton chunk of solid rock without breaking your spine in half? Wait, that's not hard enough. What if the rock sits on the side of a highway, and is a popular roadside attraction named Wizard Rock? 

That's the question that forest officials in Prescott, Arizona are now asking themselves, according to AZ Central, after the disappearance of this prized boulder in October, 2019. This solid black piece of mineral, known for the beautiful stripe of white quartz in its center, was last seen sitting on the side of State Route 89 until, well ... it went poof. Tourists often stopped to take photos at Wizard Rock, as tourists are known to do, which makes it seemingly even more inexplicable that someone nabbed this thing without anyone stopping them. How's that for a magic trick, eh?

Wizard Rock wants to tap its shoes and come home

Now, once you finish giggling over the fact that something called Wizard Rock just mystically disappeared, it's worth noting that this robbery is serious business. Whoever dumped this boulder into their garage and/or sold it on eBay did so at the cost of other people's happiness. Now, sure, the boulder was originally placed for the boring purpose of keeping cars from running off the road, according to WKYT, but it became a favorite stop for locals and visitors alike. As district Ranger Sarah Clawson explains, "These boulders belong to the public, and should be enjoyed by locals and visitors for years to come."

As for the theft itself, officials are pretty sure that these criminals must have used heavy machinery, like a backhoe, rather than a magic wand. After all, even if you called up enough guys to lift that big ol' thing by hand, that's a couple dozen back injuries waiting to happen. Sadly, Wizard Rock isn't the only gargantuan boulder to go missing in recent times. According to CNN, Prescott National Forest has seen two other giant rock robberies in 2019. Ten years ago, a heart-shaped 80-pounder got pilfered from Granite Mountain Wilderness. Miraculously, this particular stone was returned when the burglar felt guilty, after reading a news article about how much people missed the thing.

Hopefully, a similar guilt trip will happen here, before Wizard Rock goes down as one of history's unsolved disappearances. Officials are currently asking for the public to give them any information they might have about Wizard Rock's whereabouts, and pointing out that the removal of minerals from National Forest land comes with a fine of $5000, a six-month stint in jail ... and, you know, permanent recognition as the uncool dudes who took everybody's favorite magical stone.