The Untold Truth Of The Interstellar Object Known As 'Oumuamua

You probably saw this wacky thing on your Facebook back in October of 2017, and no, it wasn't some joke article by the Onion. Back then, 'Oumuamua's unusual shape led to it being commonly referred to as a "space cigar," which probably got a lot of cigar fans excited until they realized they couldn't light it up, much less puff on it. C'mon, guys.

Anyhow, the reason that the sighting of this space cigar mattered, as explained by Space.com, is because it marked the very first time that an "interstellar object" from outside the solar system had ever been witnessed by Earthling eyes: in layperson's terms, that means that it was a rock originating the furthest reaches of unknown space. Now, in a sci-fi movie, foreboding music would play as brain-eating arachnids crept out from its surface, but in real life, the scientific community just got jazzed about how weird this thing was. The experts found it freaky enough that 'Oumuamua had no "coma" — AKA the cloud of dust and gas that buzzes around comets as they near the sun — but when you add in the surfboard shape, reddish hue, and the potential for frozen water inside it, you end up with a landmark discovery that, to this day, people are still scratching their heads over.

Well, it certainly didn't petition for it. 'Oumuamua was named as such by the Hawaiian Pan-STARRS team who first spotted it, according to Scientific American. Fittingly enough, it's a Hawaiian word, the meaning of which roughly translates to "leader," or "scout," or "a messenger from afar arriving first." Pretty cool. Now, if you care about accuracy (and you should!) don't be guilty of the mistake that so many other publications and Twitters users make, by not properly punctuating the name: the okina, as the European Southern Observatory points out, is what you call the little Hawaiian punctuation mark, resembling an apostrophe, that goes before the first O. 

So, 'Oumuamua is correct, while Oumuamua is wrong. Got it? 

Now, of course, every scientific phenomenon gets to have its own fancy scientific designation. Since 'Oumuamua was a brand new type of space object, it received an "I" — as opposed to the "A" that asteroids get, or the "C" reserved for comets — resulting in the final name being 1I/2017 U1. Which is great, but definitely not as catchy as 'Oumuamua. 

Admit it. That's what you (and that crazy-haired dude on the History Channel, probably) have been thinking the whole time, right? Don't worry, you're not the only ones. 

Pretty much as soon as 'Oumuamua arrived, the people of Earth bit their collective fingers, wondering if this might finally be an alien spaceship everyone is waiting for. Initially, the scientific community brushed off such speculation. That changed when Avi Loeb, the head of Harvard University's astronomy department, jumped into the fray, according to NBC News. Loeb didn't necessarily believe that 'Oumuamua was an artificial alien structure, per se, but he used his prestige to point out that scientists should at least be open to the possibility. Loeb wrote a paper examining this notion, and his frankness opened the door for other scientists to openly speculate on the whole "Hey ... aliens?" thing without getting laughed out of the room. As Loeb put it, "The point of doing science is not to have a prejudice." Boom.

Once Loeb lit the fuse, it was time to test for aliens. How does one go about that, you ask? Well, you listen for radio signals, according to the Guardian, which is why researchers at the Breakthrough Listen project probed 'Oumuamua using a telescope with ears so strong that it could've picked up a mobile phone in space. Unfortunately, the response was negative. No signals, no aliens, nada ... at least, so far as Earth technology can pinpoint.

If aliens are hitching a ride on 'Oumuamua — which, again, is nothing but blatant speculation — they probably aren't humanoid creatures with big heads, robots, xenomorphs, or anything so exciting. Think smaller. Way smaller. As in, alien bacteria.

"Galactic Panspermia," according to the Harvard Crimson, is the theory that the chemical compounds for life can be spread across the universe by space objects like asteroids, meteoroids or, you know, cosmic cigars. 'Oumuamua, as it turns out, might be ideally suited to carry millions of these little suckers inside it. Why? Because, as Wired explains, the interstellar object seems to possess a hardened, dry crust, rich in carbon, which is perfect for protecting a cold, water-dense (read: icy) core from getting vaporized by solar rays. Moisture, as your moldy basement proves, is great for growing bacteria. And bacteria, as Space.com points out, can survive for millions of years provided it has the right conditions. There could be countless 'Oumuamua-type interstellar objects flying around, dumping their proverbial guts onto new worlds, and creating life. Depending on one's outlook, that's either a wondrous example of the universe's magic, or an isolating Lovecraftian horror. Up to you.

However, there's no proof that 'Oumuamua is made of ice. In fact, when it approached the sun, it didn't really behave like an icy object tends to, which casts some doubt on this whole idea. That said, if you ever find yourself digging into 'Oumuamua's crust, bring some hand sanitizer.

Now, maybe you're looking to draw some sick illustration of 'Oumuamua crashing into Earth, perhaps for the album cover of your friend's metal band. Cool beans. However, if you're trying to get an accurate sense of this rock's size and scale, understand that it's awfully big, according to Mashable. So big that if you stacked it up next to the Empire State Building, you'd have to get a ruler to decide which one wins the height contest. Seriously, does the antenna count? 

Before you get too freaked out about the fact that such a massive object drifted so close to your little home planet, understand that Empire State Building-sized rocks pass by Earth all the time. Another one named 2006 QQ23 just squeaked past Earth in August of 2019, according to CNN, and this happens around six or so times a year. Even scarier, at least one asteroid that got yanked into the sun's orbit was 21 miles across, which is almost the driving distance from Hollywood to Redondo Beach. Admittedly, while there are plenty of bigger rocks in space, they aren't as freaky-looking as 'Oumuamua, so your album cover concept should probably stick with the big cigar.

Okay, so 'Oumuamua is weird. It's funky. Scientists don't quite get why it doesn't fit into the right boxes, people on Earth always blame aliens (because it's more fun), and meanwhile, the object itself is twirling further away by the day. At times like this, you have to ask ... what would Captain Kirk do?

Well, he'd fly there and check out the damn thing himself, of course. And so, meet Project Lyra, the hypothetical plan regarding how human beings could send a ship into the stars, dock on 'Oumuamua, and finally get solid answers. Alien conspiracies aside, 'Oumuamua's ancient origins and distant mileage could bring about an explosion of new scientific understandings, research, and observations, so the effort is worthwhile ... and, according to the research behind Project Lyra, entirely feasible. Existing and/or near-term technology is capable of getting something out there, and the experts behind Project Lyra suggest a good launch date would be sometime after 2024. The one catch, pointed out by Science Alert, is that Lyra's calculations are based on 'Oumuamua traveling at is original speed of 95,000 kilometers per hour. It's not moving at that speed anymore, and it will be a few years before it goes back to it.

Nonetheless, landing something on 'Oumuamua — or, at least, the next interstellar object that comes along — could bring about some of the greatest discoveries in history. Besides, it'd be a great boon to science fiction novelists across the world.