The dumbest celebrity endorsements we've ever seen

Fame and fortune isn't always dignified, and People's Choice awards don't pay the bills. Sometimes, a celebrity has to slum it a little, whether it's for a big paycheck, to fulfill a contract they didn't read well enough, or simply for lack of anything better to do. Here are some of the worst celebrity product endorsements of all-time.

John Cena: Fruity Pebbles

Professional wrestling is maligned enough without its top performers associating themselves with questionable products. John Cena managed to set the "sport" back decades when he appeared in commercials for Fruity Pebbles, declaring himself the captain of — and we quote — "Team Fruity," as part of the ongoing civil war between Pebbles' Fruity and Cocoa varieties. We don't know how much money it took for Cena to ally himself with such a sugar-loaded, innuendo-filled brand, but it wasn't enough. This is especially stupid when you consider Cena first got linked to the cereal by The Rock, who mocked him for his brightly colored T-shirts by calling him a "big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles." Some things, you just shouldn't own.

Hulk Hogan: Honey Nut Cheerios

Wrestlers and breakfast cereal isn't a new thing. Before Hulk Hogan's life became a reality show and a sad, sad running joke, he redefined the WWF with his over-the-top personality, which can be seen in his classic 1980's Honey Nut Cheerios commercial. The endorsement is not terrible in itself, but Hogan's surreal overacting with a cartoon bee and reluctance to "change his ways," whatever those might be, is probably the height of stupid celebrity endorsements. Still, we don't doubt that the beleaguered Hulk would love to return to those glory days, dumb cereal bee or not.

Malcolm McDowell: Lunchables

It's a food for children whose parents have too much money and not enough love. He's a classically-trained actor known for his role in the pornographic film Caligula. Why Malcolm McDowell chose to embrace Lunchables' undeniably ageist campaign is anyone's guess, but his participation in at least twelve different TV shows, films, and video games in 2016 alone may indicate a distinct inability to say "no." After all, you don't earn a net worth of $70 million without doing a few things you regret. We just don't know which was most regrettable: the porno, or hawking processed lunchmeat by making fun of old people.

Jamie Lee Curtis: Activia

If you're going to do a commercial about how difficult it is for you to use the bathroom, you at least need to make sure it isn't your most visible role in years. Otherwise, you'll just get some pretty rough nicknames. Jamie Lee Curtis has disappeared from the spotlight for years at a time, only showing her face to promote Activia: a yogurt designed to aid digestion. This has presumably led many to believe that those lost months were probably just spent on the toilet. There's no shame in having digestive problems, but when they become your identity, it's time to find a new one.

Fabio: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

It's hard to trust any food that's spelled with an exclamation point, and harder still when that food is pimped out by a romance novel cover model. But somehow, the ridiculousness of Fabio combined with bootleg butter made for a memorable, if not slightly cringey, mid-'90s ad campaign. Was it intentionally stupid, or did the ad producers genuinely think that this was a solid idea? Either way, it was still better than Megan Mullally's stint as the deceptive spread's spokeswoman.

Jeff Foxworthy: Golden Corral

Larry the Cable Guy played Robert Baratheon to Jeff Foxworthy's Mad King, stole his Blue Collar Comedy throne, and now look at the poor guy. Apparently, it's your God-given American right to dip your heat-lamp-warmed meats into the cheesy spit-trough that is Golden Corral's fondue fountain, and Jeff Foxworthy desperately needs you to know this. Equating being a United States citizen with the ability to overeat until both your belt and heart burst wouldn't seem like a selling point to most sensible people, but there's a certain type of person who'd rather die with a deep-fried corncob in their gullet than to be told what to do. This commercial is for you, proud citizen. Also, you might be a redneck if you find this ad (or idea) appealing in any way.

Paris Hilton: Carl's Jr.

Speaking of food that will kill you, Carl's Jr. is another restaurant that takes pride in asking you to make bad decisions by testing the limits of your American freedoms. When professional famouser Paris Hilton began appearing in the burger chain's commercials, some of her gigs were deemed "too sexy" by critics. Naturally, that didn't stop the well-known nobody from appearing for the brand in both 2005 and 2014, because criticism only makes her stronger and less self-aware. Soapy cars, sexual arousal, and hot beef…what more could you ask for? Maybe a celebrity who isn't known for killing appetites.

Brad Pitt: Chanel No. 5

Commercials for scents are, as a rule, over-the-top and filmed like the very worst of French indie flicks, but Brad Pitt's stab at Chanel takes the cake for the worst of all time, hitting every cliche dead-on. Black and white? Check. Word salad narration? Check. Feels like someone trapped in an unending nightmare? Total check. Chanel arrogantly calls the 2012 commercial a "film," and even released it in two parts, because it's just that important. Don't kid yourselves, Chanel: this is a cheap spot for expensive, smelly water, hawked by someone who — if you believe the Hollywood grapevine — would never use it in the first place.

Jon Bon Jovi: DirecTV

Novels could be written about the sad, desperate look that Jon Bon Jovi casts at the camera as he finishes his short musical ode to regret and missing TV shows. However, no amount of words could appropriately convey the deep flash of shame that the singer obviously feels. It's just one of many stupid TV spots where a formerly-relevant star appears spontaneously in a living room to solve a problem, and Bon Jovi's magical appearance isn't dumb so much as it is sad. It's probably those puppy dog eyes of his. Has anyone checked on him lately?