Terrible Movies They'll Probably Turn Into Even Worse TV Shows

We live in the era of the remake, and unfortunately, most are trash. But not content to fill our theaters with warmed-over dredge, producers are starting to pour them out, like bacon grease, into our television screens. In the past year, TV series based on Frequency, Lethal Weapon, Scream, 12 Monkeys, and Rush Hour have been greenlit. With those already airing (or about to air, or possibly all cancelled by the time you read this) we can't imagine it'll be that long until we get ...


The Leprechaun series of films is a product of a young time, a more ... innocent time. Back then. the idea of an incredibly rich, soulless monster coming to kill all the poor was a horror movie, not the reality of every corporate job out there. Of course, in the films, he had magic, and Jennifer Aniston as an antagonist. Does your sociopathic boss have that?

Oh, and later on in the series, the leprechaun rapped. The '90s were weird, okay? You just had to be there. Actually, you don't, because nostalgia is the main engine behind all media. Scream has already been made into a TV show, and so has the Evil Dead. It's only a matter of time until producers run out of coke and eventually just go, "What about that cereal guy? What if he just killed all those kids? Let's do that." They already tried a movie reboot of Leprechaun (waaaaay back in 2014, and starring a wrestler because why not!) so what have they got to lose?

We're picturing it on the CW, with the Leprechaun being re-cast as someone devilishly handsome, but with a small mole on his left side — the part he covers with hair. He still kills people, but the Aniston character is really into it. In the end, she becomes a leprechaun too (spotting a matching mole). At one point, they'll make fun of the idea of him rapping, because even they have to admit the past was shameful.

Maximum Overdrive

An ode to horrible car killing and Stephen King's horrible drug habit, Maximum Overdrive is the famed horror writer's only directorial work. It's about cars who are evil! And come alive! To kill! That's really all it is. Did you love Jurassic Park, but wish it had happened with cars instead? This movie is what you want, person-who-has-never-existed.

The film wasn't only pretty cheesy, it was also a big rip-off of Duel — the first big movie Steven Spielberg ever did, about a man being pursued by an ominous truck down the road for seemingly no reason. But how killer would this be as a TV show? Picture it — a family taking a road trip, slowly realizing that cars all around them are turning evil, including their own? At the end, they're stuck in a hotel room, because outside is Carpocalypse. Someone should totally get on this, before Pixar steals it for Lightning McQueen's origin story


24. On a bus. Next!

Okay, fine, a bit more. If you've never seen this movie, it's about a terrorist putting a bomb on a bus and if it goes too slow, it'll blow up. So an action hero hops on to save everyone. Like 24, this show would happen in real-time, with the main character stepping on the bus at the same time as the first episode ends. From there, the entire plot of Speed would play — with flashbacks a la Lost, revealing who each character on the bus is. That way when they die, we feel it more.

Once the first season ends, you'd find out that this is just the beginning for the terrorist. He's got bigger plans. Boaty-er plans. (A boat. He's gonna do it on a boat, because why not serialize the film's even-worse sequel while we're at it?)


We're going to be mercifully short in our description of this made-for-TV, barely-a-B-movie. It's about a tornado ... filled with sharks. That's the whole thing. C'mon, don't act like you don't know what we're talking about.

Okay, but what are the chances of Sharknado getting its own show? Didn't it just come and go like a bad fart — bothering everyone for a second before blissfully being carried away by the wind? Who would dump hundreds or thousands of dollars into making an entire TV series based around one trash movie? Well, see, that's the thing. It's not one movie... there have been four Sharknado films so far. To be honest, of all the TV shows from Hell we're discussing, this is the one that's most likely to occur.

For all we know, some SyFy executive is right now taking a break from his hard job of weeping over his ruined life to read this article (hi!), and now he's turning away from the page to call someone — anyone — to tell them he has the best news. It's a brand-new show: Sharknado: The Series. Plot be damned, just get him some sharks in tornados, and stat! God help us all, though it might work if they just took a bunch of old Baywatch episodes and digitally added a sharknado to them. We would watch that yesterday.

Not Another Teen Movie … er, Sitcom

Not Another Teen Movie is one of those films that you've seen even if you don't think you have. Picture any high school movie ever made. It's that. Just check out the trailer and tell us you can't recognize something. Like Scary Movie and Airplane before it, NATM was a parody of every high school rom-com ever made, good or bad. It mocks everything from Pretty in Pink to Never Been Kissed to Breakfast Club, all with incredibly horrible, obvious, crude jokes that maybe you'll laugh at, but God will you hate yourself for doing so.

Imagine what Spike or MTV could do with that. Imagine being half-awake or stoned or drunk, scrolling through channels only to see Not Another Teen Sitcom, making fun of Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl, only really, REALLY terribly. It'd last one season but do really well on DVD, so Netflix would pick it up for one more season that somehow manages to be even worse.

The Spirit

Believe it or not, The Spirit isn't all that widely hated. Oh, the movie is! But it's based on a comic so beloved, one of comic books' biggest awards is named after its creator, Will Eisner. So, the idea of someone attempting to make a show out of this franchise isn't outside the realm of possibility, but Hollywood being what it is, they'd insist it be tied to the movie. So we'd get The Spirit: The Movie: The Series.

For those of you who don't remember this movie, it's the one with all the green-screen and the bad knock-off of Batman. He fights a dude named Octopus who has two arms, like all octopi. It's sort of a superhero movie, sort of a detective movie, and completely a terrible waste of time. But it's about a superhero so how is it not already a really terrible show? We've got Gotham — a show about cop who are so incompetent that a man dressed as a bat winds up doing a better job than him — but no show based on the character who inspired the creation of the Caped Crusader?


Some like this film, but we tend to agree with South Park: this is a bad movie. It's about an atheistic scientist who discovers an alien signal teaching her how to build a machine, travelling through a wormhole, and somehow converting to Christianity. It is not a good movie, and you can tell because Matthew McConaughey is in it! He wasn't in anything good until, like, last year!

This show would definitely follow the movie up until her trip through the wormhole. Then, when the military officials say she was wrong, and she goes off on her own to hug McConaughey and be sad, she would actually build her own machine. Yes, it would be a rip-off of Stargate, but honestly, who doesn't miss Stargate?


Even if you were charmed by the saccharine sweetness of E.T., and even if you loved the annoying children in Jurassic Park, you have to admit this movie blows. AI's all about a sad robot boy who wants to be a real boy, and travels the world, meeting a sex worker, and ... that's kinda all that happens until the world freezes over and aliens visit him. God, that film was weird.

Now that shows like Frequency — a sci-fi movie that existed solely so grown men could have lots of Dad-feels — are in vogue, it's not a stretch to imagine a long series about AI. Except there'd be a lot of terrible social commentary wrapped around how humans treat machines, with no examination of racism, sexism, etc. The best part? Whenever the show gets cancelled, you can just have the world freeze over. Sure, the kid actor would probably get older, but just hand-wave that with his body being made out of synthetic flesh that ages.

Sucker Punch

Here's what happens in Sucker Punch: not much. Just about the entire movie is the dream of a girl about to get lobotomized, who uses flights of fantasy to secretly help her asylum mates steal a key so one of them could escape and they wouldn't all have to die there. It's one step above "it was all a dream," but only the tiniest of baby steps.

Can you imagine the horrible TV show you could make out of that? Each different "journey" the girls go through is represented by a different type of reality. We can just imagine some LOST-type showrunners managing to stretch it out, revealing realities inside of realities, until we all get up and throw the TV out the window. Of course, that could all be a dream and actually...


If you've never seen Overboard, here's a quick summary — Kurt Russell finds a beautiful woman with amnesia in the ocean and decides to take her in, tell her she's his wife, and force her to raise his children. It is the bleakest tale of kidnapping that's ever been turned into a rom-com, and that's saying something.

However, with a bit of a tweak, this story could work perfectly. Through a series of mishaps — instead of outright lies — she would be convinced she's the wife, and the husband has to go along with it for some silly sitcom-y reason. She could fall in love with the man and his children, while slowly realizing who she was, and oh, by the way, who she is ... is rich. So you've got a great fish-out-of-water story, like My Name is Earl but somehow weirder.

Book of Shadows: The Blair Witch Project 2

Blair Witch 2 was one of the weirdest, most meta movies ever — so perfect for a reimagining in our own hyper-aware age. It's about fans of the original movie who go to the place where it was shot, only here it's an actual film — as in, Blair With 1 really happened in Blair Witch 2. Eventually, to their horror, the fans finds themselves being haunted by the Blair Witch, who eventually takes them over. Even for fans of the first, vomit-inducing film, it's not very good. Or good at all.

But a TV series that's all about a movie, and could work as a promotional tool for future films? Yeah, we can definitely see some executive being desperate enough to greenlight a TV series based on that. Although, to be honest, American Horror Story might have beat them to it.