Horror movies that are so bad they're funny

Remember when you were a kid and Halloween was your favorite holiday? Perhaps you're interested in recapturing the awesomeness of Halloween, but aren't willing to watch anything really scary. Don't worry, we gotcha. Here's a list of horror movies that are absolutely so horrible that they're about as scary as an Adam Sandler movie, but twice as good.

The Baby

The Baby is a horror film from the '70s with a very simple plot; a teenage boy acts like, and is treated like, a baby. That's it — the whole movie is just, "How messed up would it be if a mom kept her child so coddled he literally never progressed past the role of a toddler?" It gets darker than that — eventually people get murdered and the woman you believe is working for Baby (yeah, that's his name) simply wants him as a playmate for her mentally damaged husband. Despite all of that, the movie hangs on the note of: Wow, how messed up would it be if an adult was a baby?

While we understand how the idea of being put in a diaper and treated as a literal baby could be considered somewhat horrifying — seeing a grown man roll around in a diaper ends up looking more ridiculous than anything else.

JASON X

Friday the 13th started out as a semi-grounded series about a mother who, desperate to avenge her son who drowned at his camp kills just everyone there. It quickly devolved into ridiculousness once the kid returns from the dead and starts killing people, while dressed as his mom (who first dressed as him). Then he goes to Hell, fights Freddy, and moves to New York because why not.

But then it just went all the way to out-of-control wackiness. See, in Jason X — a movie that looks like it was made over a weekend at a terrible community college — Jason gets abducted by an evil organization that freezes him. Then, he wakes up dozens of years later … in space. Yeah, somebody greenlit Jason in Space. The movie then progresses pretty much the way you'd expect, if what you expect is, "what a twelve-year-old would make if given a hundred bucks and a camera."

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a cult classic, not that that makes it any good. A comet lands on Earth but it's actually a spaceship that looks like a circus tent. From it come killer clowns that attack humans, using silly straws to suck the blood out of their feeble bodies. When it seems like the worst is over, it's not! Because here comes an even more gigantic clown! Run!

It's as ridiculous as it sounds. The best way to up the hilarity would be to show it to a friend who's scared of clowns. They'll interpret the film not as a so-bad-it's-hilarious horror romp, but as an eerily prophetic sign of how the world will end. Not with a bang, but with a squirty flower.

Robot Monster

Robot Monster — a succinct title if there ever was one — is about a robot from the Moon called Ro-Man who has killed almost everyone on Earth. A small group of humans, including a young boy, survive. The robot kills almost all of them before falling in love with a girl, has a change of heart, and tries to defend the remaining humans from its boss. The robot's boss kills it, and attempts to destroy the world with earthquakes and dinosaurs before … the young boy wakes up.

Oh, it was all a fever dream? Except then, the robot rushes out of a cave screaming. So it … wasn't a dream? Okay, look, we don't know if it was a dream or not. All we know is it's hilarious and you should watch it. Of course, that's a new opinion — when the movie first came out, it was hated to its very core. Its director, Phil Tucker, became so despised, he probably couldn't get a job as an usher. After getting robbed of the film's profits (which were shockingly large, with the film grossing a million bucks on a $16,000 budget), he went to a hotel and attempted to kill himself. This was all over a this movie starring — again — a space robot that looks like a monkey that's actually a kid's fever dream but maybe is prophetic. Thankfully, the director didn't kill himself, and went on to have a successful career as … something, because no one cared about him or this movie, except to mock it. But we do. We care, sir. Watch this movie. It's awesome, for all the wrong reasons.

Little Shop of Horrors

You probably recognize this from the remake with Rick Moranis and a singing plant, but it actually started life as a much, much better black-and-white horror film made for about nine bucks and whatever change the director could find in their couch cushion. It follows a man who gets a plant that's actually an alien, and how the pair become serial killers. Jack Nicholson is in it as an evil dentist, and the alien wins at the end. It's amazing, and of course, it's also ridiculously horrible and barely watchable. But in a fun way!

At some point you might be scared, but only of how terrible the writing, acting, and camera work is. Of course, if you can't find a copy of this black-and-white version, you can always watch the still phenomenal Little Shop of Horrors musical. Either way, you're in for a super schlocky, so-bad-it's-hilarious Halloween treat!

Critters 3

Did you like Gremlins? Want to watch a version of it that takes itself way too seriously and is also just the worst? Congratulations! Critters is for you. Now, you could start with the first, but let's just skip to the worst, Critters 3. The whole series follows tiny monsters that kill people because it's a horror film, so what else is going to happen? Are they going to give Algebra lessons to underprivileged children? Okay, that might actually be a neat movie.

That is also definitely not this movie. If you have anything resembling a sense of humor, check Critters 3 out. We're going out on a limb and saying it's actually one of Leonardo DiCaprio's best films (a distant second: that one with the boat). Oh, yeah, did we not mention that one of the best parts of this film is how it's Oscar golden boy Leonardo DiCaprio's debut? Yes, the star of The Revenant first showed up in a movie about tiny monsters that eat people. And not even one of the entertaining versions of those.

Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood

For those who don't know anything about Leprechaun, it's a movie series about a leprechaun … who is evil. And kills people. Jennifer Aniston from Friends was in one of them — not this one, unfortunately, but that would actually make it a lot better.

No, this one shows the evil Leprechaun attempting to get back his gold — yes, that is the actual plot of these stupid films — from a gang of "urban" youths. He raps at one point. It's basically the worst thing a group of white people ever put down on paper in order to appeal to black viewers. The only viewers this film actually appealed to were those who wanted to get completely high and watch a terrible movie. So, presumably, you. Enjoy.

Tokyo Gore Police

We're not gonna lie. This one isn't so much "so bad it's good" as "so amazingly epically awesome it's hilarious." Although, as you can possibly tell from the title it's … a bit gorey. It's also Japanese, so you'll be treated to either hilariously awful dubbing, or have to read a whole novel's worth of subs. So, pick your poison.

Tokyo Gore Police is about, well, police, in Tokyo, who battle gore. See, there's an evil dude, called the Key Man, who mutates his helpless victims into monsters. Along the way, a young girl — dressed like a Japanese school girl and using a katana — fights him, before eventually morphing into a monster herself. Eventually, she finds out that the Key Man is after the chief of police (who also killed her father) and, in attempt to become stronger, the Key Man mutated himself with the DNA of dozens of infamous criminals. It's pretty awesome.

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Tired of watching Rocky Horror Picture Show but still want some zany, borderline awful, catchy musical for your eyes and ears this Halloween? Look no further! Repo! tells the story of the Rotti family, who formed a corporation built on replacing organs but who — if you do not pay up in time — will send their Repo Man out to take your organs back. And it's oh-so-very bloody. There's a more in-depth story of a mother who loves her father, and is locked away in a tower, but all you really need to know is that Paris Hilton plays one of the main characters and it is amazing.

A brief word of warning though — there is nothing remotely non-R-rated in this film. Every song is filled with cursing, sex references, drugs, and even more horrifying things. So while it's great for older teens and young adults, keep it away from the Hocus Pocus crowd. It might be hard to explain to them why Paris Hilton is humping a dead-looking dude while singing about how bad she wants to be cut apart. Actually, that's kinda hard to explain to anyone.

Puppet Master 2

The tagline for this direct-to-dvd flick is "They're back. No strings attached" which is obviously, patently untrue, because the movie is called Puppet Master. The film is about a series of evil mannequins and puppets possessed by the souls of the dead and damned. They have a liquid failing their artificial intelligence, as the deviant monstrosities attempt to kill and burn down the world. So, it's your standard adult remake of Pinocchio. It's like Chucky, but terrible, or like Toy Story made by Rob Zombie, but poorly.

There's a first movie, but that one made it to theaters — who wants to see that? Skip to this one, as a good rule for horrendous horror is always to check if it's direct-to-home. If it is, check it out, as it'll be worth it in one way or the other. Plus, this one involves a mannequin resurrecting someone in one of its first scenes, so it's amazingly bad right off the bat.

Phantasm III

All of the Phantasm movies are pretty atrociously funny, but special shoutout goes to Phantasm III. All of them follow a pretty similar plot — a tall man, named Tall Man, kills people. When the Tall Man dies — or is killed — another Tall Man (actually a horrifying demon from another dimension) comes to continue on his work. It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet of old, evil dudes.

While, as mentioned, all of them are pretty great, we're giving Phantasm III the nod, if only because it was the first of the films to be released direct to DVD and the first to feature an exploding hearse early in the film. Any movie with an exploding hearse gets an A+ in the horribly hilarious horror film awards. But this one also wins for being perhaps the most low-budget of them all. That being said, no matter the quality, it's hard to take a series seriously when its Evil Villain is a geriatric snarling funeral director.

The Stuff

This movie is basically about evil semen that takes over your mind. Next!

Okay, fine, a little bit more. In the beginning, a weird substance lands on Earth, nicknamed the Stuff. Eventually it's sold in stores, like ice cream, but it has no calories! Everyone gobbles it up like you would gobble up calorie-free delicious ice cream. Eventually, though, a child discover that it's actually a living being that gets inside you and turns you into a mindless, zombie monster. Again, this "Stuff" looks exactly like semen. It's evil, living semen that everyone on Earth is obsessed with eating. Seriously, how is this not universally accepted as the funniest movie ever made?

In the end, the Stuff is defeated and no one eats it anymore … except then it's smuggled onto the Black Market. There's not that much more to say, except to repeat that this film is about people being addicted to eating evil, zombie-making babymakers.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is undoubtedly the worst movie you will ever hear of. The graphics are from a broken PS1, the acting is from a tone-deaf community college, and the script is from random napkins pulled from multiple fast food dumpsters around town. All of it combines to make a movie that resembles The Birds so hard, it's amazing the ghost of Hitchcock did not come back to slap the director in the face.

There is no part of this movie that isn't ridiculously, over-the-top horrible. There is not a single part of this movie where you will stop laughing, not even for a single second. Best of all, it's not on purpose! This movie was just made for absolutely no money, and was made with a zero-talent cast, by a zero-talent director and writer. It's pretty amazing that the cast even remember their lines, although it usually seems they only barely do.

If you wish to watch this masterpiece (and why wouldn't you?) this whole thing is totally not easily findable on a website that rhymes with BooChoob.

The Visit

M. Night Shyamalan started out strong. The Sixth Sense was so fantastic, people still talk about seeing dead people today. But after that, his oeuvre got kinda hokey pretty fast. Some people thought after his movie about the devil in a broken-down elevator — called, appropriately enough Devil — he was done for. Then came The Visit, a found-footage film about two kids who visit their grandparents for the first time, but their grandparents aren't all what they seem.

This movie is borderline scary for … about half a second. See, the problem is the movie's theme is literally "Wow, look how scary these old people are!" but they kinda just act like … old people. The grandmother is forgetful and walks around at night and plays (spooky?) hide-and-go seek, while the grandfather, well, he poops his pants. A lot. Near the end, the kids find out that it's not really their grandparents, and the not-granddad tries to kill them both, but the threat is kinda undercut by his shoving a poopy diaper in one of the kids' face. Over all, it's more like a terrible National Lampoon movie, more than anything you'd be spooked by.

Tusk

Tusk is writer-director Kevin Smith's second horror movie. You know Kevin Smith from his jorts, Chasing Amy, and Clerks. This movie is better than all of those, and is in fact the most stupendous movie you will ever watch … just not for the reasons you'd think.

Tusk tells the tale of a shock jock who goes to Canada and interviews a man who was lost at sea. But then the man knocks him out and tells him he's going to turn him into a walrus. And then … he does! It is so beautiful. Check out that screengrab. Have you ever seen something more beautifully awful than Justin Long as a half-human, half-walrus? To be fair, there's a lot of body horror in this film, but it's so ridiculously over-the-top that only the most squeamish would be bothered by it. Add one of Johnny Depp's last performances before becoming a full-time Tim Burton hanger-on — as a French detective with the most absurd accent on Earth — and you've got Kevin Smith's funniest movie ever made.