Technology That's Perfect For Incredibly Lazy People

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Spaceships and Large Hadron Colliders are cool for the geek set, but we like our science a little more practical. Frankly, why is technology so geared toward people with purpose in life? What about us regular folks? We all know a bunch of nerds put on a man on the Moon, but have they ever a moon pie in a man's mouth? What about those who spend their lives on the couch, and still find that a bit much? What's science doing for them?

That's why we've gathered a few of the best inventions for the motivationally challenged. If you're too lazy to use even these products, well, then you might be legally dead.

Look, you're the type of guy or gal who doesn't expend a lot of unnecessary energy, so why are you forced to get out of bed, walk through your whole house, out the front door, and then open a mailbox, just to check if your mail has arrived? If you wanted to run a marathon, you wouldn't have canceled that gym membership six years ago.

Thankfully, much like fetish porn, Japan saw something missing in our lives and stepped up to the plate. That's how we got the Mailbox Sentry from Thanko. With this handy device, you can remotely keep track of all the past due bills and Land's End catalogs arriving from the comfort of your own couch.

All you have to do is set up an antenna and transmitter inside your mailbox. When the mailman delivers ten pages of coupons, a number will pop up on your receiver indicating how many items you've received. As for you, well, you can just sit back, relax, and know that awkward conversations with your mailman are a thing of the past.

You're in bed, half asleep, when the urge to have a beer and a chicken sandwich over takes you. You could walk all the way into the kitchen, but that would involve fully waking up. Nope, if you're going to sleep eat, you want it to be as convenient as possible.

That's where the good good people at Man Tables come in. For the low, low, kind of high price of $599, you can order your own nightstand with a built in refrigerator. That way, whatever you want to cram in your food hole in the middle of the night, will be right there waiting for you.

If you're anything like us, you've killed enough potted plants to be charged with a war crime. Thankfully, a new product funded on Kickstarter may be the answer to your prayers. What are you supposed to do, water your plants every day? Read that little card thingy that tells you how much sun it's supposed to get? Still remember you have the thing a week after buying it?

Well, with the Click & Grow Indoor Garden, you have to do nothing, which is definitely something you're good at doing. This device comes with seeds and soil, so you just water it once, turn it on, and watch those plants grow. It doesn't matter how lazy you are: the LED lights do the work for you, the seller dubiously claims! And tricking someone else to do your work has gotten you this far, so why stop now?

What's the hardest part of exercise? For us, it's the part where you have to get off the couch. Well, thankfully, that's a problem no more! The Drive Medical Deluxe Folding Exercise Peddler can be set up at the foot of a chair. Or your bed. Frankly, any place you don't feel like standing up from.

From there, all you have to do is peddle away, and watch those calories burn. Who says you have to go to the gym, or outdoors, or get out of bed, to get fit? No, now all you have to do is sit up (which, granted, can be a pain in the butt). Still, this handy device can even fold up, and be stored under the couch, so it's never more than an arm's length away. There's literally no lazier way to exercise.

Eating dinner can be stressful enough. What am I going to order? What am I going to say? Who needs to add the inconvenient of having to twirl their own fork? Right?

Well, now you don't have to. With The Spinning Spaghetti Fork, you can let the silverware do the work for you. With its handy, hidden motor, that fork will be spinning more than a housewife at SoulCycle.

No more unsightly slurping. Laughably long noodles dangling away will be a thing of the past. With this little device, the pasta will meet you at your mouth hole, leaving you free to ruin whatever date you're on.

Walking. Doesn't it feel like we should have evolved past that at some point? Who's to say what feet are for? Picking up dropped chips on the floor, maybe, or pulling the blanket a little closer? Certainly not dragging yourself around town like some sort of servant.

That's why the ACTON R6 RocketSkates are such a game-changing invention. Billed as "The World's First Smart Electric Skates," these beauties strap right on to your feet and take you wherever you need to go.

And, with a top speed of 12 miles per hour, they'll get you there a heck of a lost faster than those meat bags at the bottom of your legs. This is the invention for anyone who ever thought walking was for losers. Electric motorized shoes. Never take a step again!