Technology That's Perfect For Incredibly Lazy People

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Spaceships and Large Hadron Colliders are cool for the geek set, but we like our science a little more practical. Frankly, why is technology so geared toward people with purpose in life? What about us regular folks? We all know a bunch of nerds put on a man on the Moon, but have they ever a moon pie in a man's mouth? What about those who spend their lives on the couch, and still find that a bit much? What's science doing for them?

That's why we've gathered a few of the best inventions for the motivationally challenged. If you're too lazy to use even these products, well, then you might be legally dead.

The remote control pillow

Have you ever been clicking through the channels, lazily shuffling through Bones reruns and golf highlights, when you realize, boy, if I were to fall asleep on top of this remote right now, it sure would be uncomfortable? With its hard, plastic shell, sharp corners, and light 'em up doohickeys, there are few things you'd less want to pass out on than a clunky remote control.

Thankfully, for those of us that are prepared to conk out at any moment, the good people at Journey's Edge have a solution. The Universal Pillow Remote.

That's right: sleepy scientists have invented a remote control pillow, because why can't everything be a pillow? With "large, easy to read fabrics," this plush headrest can control up to six different remotes, so you won't need to constantly be grabbing the down pillow in the bedroom just to watch a DVD!

So, why bother lifting your hand and pressing buttons anymore, when you can just plop your head down on this dreamy device, and let the snores do the work for you?

The mailbox updater

Look, you're the type of guy or gal who doesn't expend a lot of unnecessary energy, so why are you forced to get out of bed, walk through your whole house, out the front door, and then open a mailbox, just to check if your mail has arrived? If you wanted to run a marathon, you wouldn't have canceled that gym membership six years ago.

Thankfully, much like fetish porn, Japan saw something missing in our lives and stepped up to the plate. That's how we got the Mailbox Sentry from Thanko. With this handy device, you can remotely keep track of all the past due bills and Land's End catalogs arriving from the comfort of your own couch.

All you have to do is set up an antenna and transmitter inside your mailbox. When the mailman delivers ten pages of coupons, a number will pop up on your receiver indicating how many items you've received. As for you, well, you can just sit back, relax, and know that awkward conversations with your mailman are a thing of the past.

The remote control garbage can

Has this ever happened to you? You're comfortably sitting in your favorite chair, when you realize your lap is full of garbage. What are you supposed to do? Get up and dispose of it? What if you miss the last five minutes of that Family Matters rerun? Well, that's unacceptable. And now unnecessary, because with the Gombia Go Remote Control Garbage Can, the trash can will come to you.

No more begging your girlfriend to take your burrito wrapper with her. No more hiding all those beer bottles under the couch. Nope, the Gombia Go will never say it's tired, or that it's not your slave, or that you guys need to have a talk because you're taking it for granted. It will just wiz on over and gobble up that garbage, lickety split! Now that's a relationship worth investing in.

The nightstand fridge

You're in bed, half asleep, when the urge to have a beer and a chicken sandwich over takes you. You could walk all the way into the kitchen, but that would involve fully waking up. Nope, if you're going to sleep eat, you want it to be as convenient as possible.

That's where the good good people at Man Tables come in. For the low, low, kind of high price of $599, you can order your own nightstand with a built in refrigerator. That way, whatever you want to cram in your food hole in the middle of the night, will be right there waiting for you.

The robot lawn mower

How many times have you sent the kids out to mow the lawn, only to realize you don't have any kids? What are you supposed to do then? Mow it yourself? During nap time? Thankfully, there's now a solution. The Husqvarna Automatic Robotic Lawn Mower. That's a lot of words for a pretty simple idea: it's a robot that mows the lawn for you.

Now, we all know robots are scary. They're destined to rise up and kill us all. That's just common sense. But for now, they're our slaves, and that means we can force them to do all the hard work, while we bask in the type of relaxation only someone with a healthy amount of disposable income could truly understand. So enjoy your robot slave now, because the time is coming when you'll be mowing its lawn. And, friend, there's nothing relaxing about that.

The plant grower

If you're anything like us, you've killed enough potted plants to be charged with a war crime. Thankfully, a new product funded on Kickstarter may be the answer to your prayers. What are you supposed to do, water your plants every day? Read that little card thingy that tells you how much sun it's supposed to get? Still remember you have the thing a week after buying it?

Well, with the Click & Grow Indoor Garden, you have to do nothing, which is definitely something you're good at doing. This device comes with seeds and soil, so you just water it once, turn it on, and watch those plants grow. It doesn't matter how lazy you are: the LED lights do the work for you, the seller dubiously claims! And tricking someone else to do your work has gotten you this far, so why stop now?

The toothpaste squeezer

How many times have you been running late for work, or an interview for work, or for a relaxing session of thinking about looking for work someday, when your toothpaste messes everything up. In this modern world, who has the time to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze that tube, wasting precious time you could be using to pick out a cool hat or go back to bed for a few moments?

Well, the iLifeTech Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser is the answer to all your problems, because this little device does the squeezing for you. Use it once, and you'll wonder how you ever got by squeezing your own toothpaste before.

The couch exercise bike

What's the hardest part of exercise? For us, it's the part where you have to get off the couch. Well, thankfully, that's a problem no more! The Drive Medical Deluxe Folding Exercise Peddler can be set up at the foot of a chair. Or your bed. Frankly, any place you don't feel like standing up from.

From there, all you have to do is peddle away, and watch those calories burn. Who says you have to go to the gym, or outdoors, or get out of bed, to get fit? No, now all you have to do is sit up (which, granted, can be a pain in the butt). Still, this handy device can even fold up, and be stored under the couch, so it's never more than an arm's length away. There's literally no lazier way to exercise.

Lazy reading glasses

Reading. Ugh. It can take a lot of work. But with Vinmax's new Bed Prism Spectacles, you won't have to lift your head or the book you're reading ever again. Thanks to its one of a kind, multi-lens technology, you can lie back in comfort and still see every word on the page.

The trick is the reflective nature of its lenses, which work together to give you a view of that book lying in your lap. No straining the neck. No stretching the arms. No moving at all.

And if reading isn't for you, well, these glasses also work great with the television set. Just lie back and let the dulcet tones of Sportscenter rock you to sleep. Remember: just because you have neck muscles doesn't mean you have to use them.

The twirling fork

Eating dinner can be stressful enough. What am I going to order? What am I going to say? Who needs to add the inconvenient of having to twirl their own fork? Right?

Well, now you don't have to. With The Spinning Spaghetti Fork, you can let the silverware do the work for you. With its handy, hidden motor, that fork will be spinning more than a housewife at SoulCycle.

No more unsightly slurping. Laughably long noodles dangling away will be a thing of the past. With this little device, the pasta will meet you at your mouth hole, leaving you free to ruin whatever date you're on.

The dog poo catcher

You've already taken your dog out for a walk, and now you're expected to pick up its poop too? That just seems wrong somehow.

Whether you have a bad back, or a bad attitude, there's no reason you should be the one cleaning up after your pooch. That's where the PooTrap comes in.

A handy bag that straps right to the anus of your furry friend, this invaluable invention helps keep you from having to work too hard. Fido isn't cleaning up after you in the bathroom, so fair is fair.

Remember: a dog's shame isn't worth your inconvenience.

Motorized shoes

Walking. Doesn't it feel like we should have evolved past that at some point? Who's to say what feet are for? Picking up dropped chips on the floor, maybe, or pulling the blanket a little closer? Certainly not dragging yourself around town like some sort of servant.

That's why the ACTON R6 RocketSkates are such a game-changing invention. Billed as "The World's First Smart Electric Skates," these beauties strap right on to your feet and take you wherever you need to go.

And, with a top speed of 12 miles per hour, they'll get you there a heck of a lost faster than those meat bags at the bottom of your legs. This is the invention for anyone who ever thought walking was for losers. Electric motorized shoes. Never take a step again!

The ​Beerbot

If you will, think back to a little film called Rocky IV and the dream it created for a generation. No, not defeating communism. We're taking having a robot butler that would bring us beer.

Well, that movie has finally become a reality, because Asahi's has invented the beer-pouring Robocco BeerBot, and it will change your life.

For just $799 (plus $94 shipping), you can own your own little buddy, who will bring you whatever adult beverage your heart desires. And, before you get worried that you might have to pour these drinks yourself. Nope, this BeerBot is fully functional. Unlike your alcoholism.