Why The Jurassic World Trailer Has Us Worried

Because there's no better idea in Hollywood than an old idea, but with new packaging, this summer will see the newest in a string of unnecessary sequels to Jurassic Park. The original Steven Spielberg classic from 1993 broke box office records and captured our imaginations. The others...didn't. With the release of the new worldwide trailer for Jurassic World, it's difficult not to feel a little worried about just what we're in for this summer.

The Dinosaur Whisperer

The trailer opens with Chris Pratt's Owen Grady staring down a trio of velociraptors—and not being immediately torn to shreds. Grady's secret, it seems, has a lot to do with the fact that he understands the velociraptors on a deep level—related, it seems, to their mutual love of eating, hunting, and having sex.

Later, Grady seems to use his knack for being cool with dinosaurs to team up with the velociraptors against a super-dinosaur. We see Grady riding his motorcycle through the jungle (can motorcycles work in the jungle?) as the raptors sprint alongside him. Again, they don't seem interested in eating him.

The filmmakers want to show us how much of a badass Grady is. After all, he needs to lead this movie. What sets him apart from the other Jurassic Park movie leads? This dude doesn't just hunt dinosaurs—he hunts with the dinosaurs!

But you know what's cooler than a guy who can hang out with dinosaurs? How about dinosaurs that are actually a threat? The raptors in the first movie were absolutely terrifying, and it was thrilling to see them hunting the humans. Losing that means losing one of the biggest elements that worked from the first film.

Lots And Lots Of CGI

On that same subject, the original Jurassic Park worked so amazingly well because of how much it relied on practical special effects. The first dinosaur we see in the movie is a sick triceratops, and the characters interact with it and react to it as if it's real because it's right there in front of them on-set.

By contrast, not only does every dinosaur in this new movie appear to have been built inside of a computer, but the park itself looks like it's made of code, too. Movies that rely too heavily on CGI often result in flicks that feel weightless and airy. There isn't much there to ground the actors, and there isn't much there to grab the audience, either.

We saw it with the Star Wars prequels, which were filmed largely in front of a green screen. This too, looks more like watching people run through a video game rather than an actual park filled with dinosaurs.

Sure, convincing people that there's an actual theme park filled with living dinosaurs sounds like a tall order—but Spielberg's original film pulled this off perfectly over 25 years ago. It can be done. We have the technology.

We've Seen All This Before

As much as we're complaining about the ways Jurassic World is wrong to stray from what worked in the original Jurassic Park, there are a number of areas where the new movie seems to be aping the first film note-for-note. And that's not necessarily a good thing.

For starters, we've got characters loudly exclaiming that the dinosaurs have gotten too smart—an unquestionable retread of one of the original's major plot points. There's also a visual reference to the scene where the T-rex goes after the little kids in the car. Oh, and it wouldn't be a Jurassic Park movie without needing to rescue kids running from dinosaurs.

Worst of all, though, is the fact that the entire premise of the movie as described in the trailer just makes no sense. The first Jurassic Park never opened because the dinosaurs couldn't be contained. You can't control nature! Doctor Malcolm, that irascible chaotician, taught us that. Then in the first sequel, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, the dinosaurs got off the island, and a T-Rex wreaked havoc in the streets of San Diego. As far as the franchise's continuity is concerned, this actually happened.

So if you lived in a world where a tyrannosaurus rex got loose and started eating people in San Diego, would you be into visiting a theme park filled with more, bigger, genetically modified versions of carnivorous super lizards? Would you drop your kids off there? Would you then be surprised when all the dinosaurs broke loose and started eating people all over again? No, you wouldn't. No one would. Or would they?

Art Imitates Life

Interestingly, the fact that this movie exists at all is a testament to the fact that no one learns from their mistakes. The folks building the Jurassic World theme park didn't figure out that this is a bad idea. The people visiting Jurassic World should know that they are totally going to get eaten by these crazy dinosaurs.

Likewise, the people making Jurassic World haven't figured out that making a movie with the word "Jurassic" in the title isn't enough to make a good film. And the people who pay money to see it should know that they are totally going to be made bored by these crazy dinosaurs.