The Most Unique Animals We All Secretly Want As Pets
Dogs, cats, gerbils, fish—whatever kind of pet you have, there's no doubt that you think your pet is the most awesome pet of all. After all, how could any other pet measure up to Mr. Cuddlesworth?
But be honest. Every once in a while, you wish your pet stood out just a little more from the crowd, right? Sure, having the four billionth tabby on your block is nice, but a T. Rex might have more wow factor. It's okay, everyone feels that way from time to time. So instead of fighting those feelings of disloyalty, just snuggle up with poor little Fluffy O'Purr and take a look at some of the most unique animals that we all secretly want as pets.
Fennec Fox
Fennec foxes are kind of like Chihuahuas cosplaying as Batman. Hailing from the distant shores of Africa, these tiny nocturnal furballs are, in fact, legal to own as pets in some parts of the United States, which means you just got yourself a new addition to your Amazon Wish List. They technically aren't domesticated, though, so you should keep them clear of anything they might consider prey, like your new pair of Uggs. Fair warning, though: they're so darn cute when they yawn that you might go into sugar shock. What a way to go, though.
Snowy Owl
Ever since Harry Potter became a thing, wanting to have a snowy owl as a pet has also been a thing. Harry's pet owl Hedwig wasn't just beautiful, he was smart, brave, and really handy in all sorts of unexpected ways. Of course, Harry had a few advantages as a pet owner, like being a powerful wizard. But for those of us who aren't wizards, we should probably steer clear of pet owls, since they are extremely dangerous. Plus they vomit up bones and stuff all the time. They're also illegal in America, though the Harry Potter films sparked a fad of owl ownership in Britain, which lasted right up until the first time an owl got loose inside the house. Expelliarmus!
Capybara
Good news: it's totally legal in most parts of the United States to own capybaras as pets! Which is great, because these things are so amazingly cute, you're going to want to get a bunch of them. And then you're going to want to buy a huge farm somewhere, because in case you didn't know it, capybaras are gigantic. The largest rodents on Earth, capybaras can top 150 pounds when fully grown. So, yeah, you probably want to let your roommate know before you bring one into your apartment. But if you have the space, go for it. How can you resist those adorable little cheeks?!
Squirrel Monkey
Right off the bat, I want one. Just look at the name: squirrel monkey. Is it a squirrel? Is it a monkey? Is it—please god—both a squirrel and a monkey at the same time?! Okay, spoiler alert: it's a monkey. It just, you know, looks kind of like a squirrel. It also does cute squirrelly things like tossing its tail over its shoulder when it's resting. Plus, it can purr like a cat, which, honestly...it's almost too much. Sure, there are some drawbacks to having a pet monkey, like buying and learning how to use monkey diapers. But on the other hand, at least "Monkey Diapers" is the perfect name for your next garage band. That's a win in my book.
Sloth
Thanks to the shape of their face, sloths always look like they're smiling at some in-joke. Just like you're smiling to yourself right now at the thought of having a pet sloth. Not that we necessarily recommend it; sloths have very specific dietary needs, and don't always do well in captivity. Plus, they can sometimes become aggressive, and despite the obvious sloth jokes that brings to mind, they can in fact catch you when they want to. On the other hand, having a pet named for one of the seven deadly sins is totally hardcore. What's in the box? Don't worry, it's not a severed head, it's just a super cute pet sloth!
Jaguarundi
No, jaguarundis aren't jaguar themed lingerie, though that also would be fantastic. They're actually South American wildcats that are like little miniature cougars, only for some reason crossed with an otter. Yeah, I don't get it either. As far as wildcats go, jaguarundis are actually pretty gregarious, in that they won't necessarily kill you or your family. But they also are solitary creatures, so if you like the idea of cats but don't really want them bothering you or anything, jaguarundis might be perfect. You can just admire each other from a distance, go your separate ways, and nobody gets hurt. Too bad more relationships aren't like that.
Kinkajou
How unique is the kinkajou? It's the only member of the genus Potos, which makes me feel very sad for it. How lonely. Known as the "honey bear" because of its affinity for Winnie the Pooh, the kinkajou looks like a cross between a cat and a monkey, which earned it its other nickname, the "lion monkey." So: lion monkey honey bears? Okay then. According to Wikipedia, kinkajous "dislike sudden movements, noise, and being awake during the day," which means they would make excellent bloggers. They can also live for up to 40 years in captivity, so getting one of these as a pet is pretty much a lifetime commitment. A lifetime of awesome, that is.
Giraffe
Chances are, you don't think about giraffes too often. Everyone's seen so many photos and videos of giraffes that no one really stops to consider how totally bizarre these weird things actually are. But I'm officially declaring this International Think About Those Freaky Giraffes Day. It's like someone used a bad Instagram distort filter on a horse—a horse made of toffee. And ever since those TV commercials where the guy had a miniature giraffe, people have been wishing they could have a pet giraffe of their own. Unfortunately, there are no tiny giraffes currently available as pets, though hopefully we'll get there eventually, otherwise what's even the point of science? Until then, we'll just have to dream about those incredibly odd necks stretching up over the top of our house to eat our neighbor's prize willow tree. Someday.
Slow Loris
Like most of the other awesome animals on this list, the slow loris is almost incomprehensibly adorable. Hailing from Southeast Asia, the slow loris has featured in several viral videos showcasing their big cutiepie eyeballs and fuzzy little hands and feet. Unfortunately, they make terrible pets, as most of them die in captivity, while the huge demand for them is driving them to extinction. As a result, it's illegal to keep a slow loris as a pet in America. But it's not illegal to have a photo of a slow loris as your screen saver! Uh, a friend told me.
Genet
Genets are awesome looking cat-things with big fluffy raccoon tails. Genets aren't domesticated, but can make loyal pets as long as you don't mind being the focus of a single-minded animalistic obsession. You see, genets bond very closely with their owner, to the point of indulging in self-mutilation if permanently separated. Interestingly, I'm the same way with my Xbox. Genets have been known to ride on the backs of other animals, making them one of the only species gutsy to actually surf a rhino. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Johnny Utah!