Cringe-worthy gaming scenes we wish never happened

There was a time when video games could be played in public spaces and no one would bat an eye. Sure, games like Mortal Kombat and Leisure Suit Larry were under scrutiny for their depictions of violence and adult themes, but for the most part, games could be digested by the general public without too much trouble. But as digital diversions became more sophisticated and included epic narratives complete with cut-scenes, we started to see that not every moment in a game is all that palatable. We've grabbed some of the biggest offenders when it comes to making us cringe because of sheer awkwardness, corniness, or an unholy combination of the two. Be warned that spoilers are ahead. But really, just be warned that they're all pretty terribad.

Final Fantasy VII: daddies in a brothel

Final Fantasy VII is one of the most popular RPGs ever, so much so that Square Enix is (eventually) remaking and remastering it for the PS4. But not everything in the game translates well today: namely, this scene.

The story involves Cloud dressing as a girl to rescue Tifa, who's entered the Honeybee Inn brothel to interrogate its boss, Don Corneo, for information about Shinra. Cross-dressing for comedic effect is questionable enough in 2017, but the scene where Cloud enters the "Group Room" to procure underwear for his "costume" really crosses the line. In there, he's quickly greeted by nine buff, burly men, wearing nothing but spandex and pornstaches. The lead man, Mukki, keeps winking at Cloud, who quickly deduces what's about to happen. He tries to leave but Mukki and company won't let him, insisting they "wash off all [their] sweat and dirt together." So the men gang up on Cloud and, as the camera pans up, they strip him down (complete with award-winning dialogue like "Wow! Would ya look at that!?") and force him into the hot tub. Mukki invites Cloud into his "Young Bubbys group," and when Cloud tries to leave, Mukki begs him to stay because "Daddy's so lonely." That's so creepy.

Finally, they leave, with Mukki giving Cloud "bikini briefs" to commemorate their magical evening. So Cloud got what he came for, but hopefully for the remake he simply buys them at a store.

Mass Effect: Andromeda: Krogan slap-fight

This one isn't skeezy or grotesque in any way, but if you appreciate Mass Effect, the game's Krogan alien race, or good acting in general, this scene will make you cringe and then weep.

After two Krogans confront your character Ryder over a missing drive core, you spill the beans that Krogan 2 has been playing both you and Krogan 1 against each other. So the two Krogans come to blows! And "blows" refers to the sissiest sissy slap-fight this side of two middle-schoolers who don't want to get hurt. They start "punching" each other in the wimpiest manner imaginable, barely making contact. Even Ryder is bored. Luckily, most terrible fights don't last long, so Krogan 1 soon kicks Krogan 2 down, yelling at him to get out. And just like that, he does. A poor punch or two and an almost-as-poor kick was all it took to bring down a member of an alien race known throughout Mass Effect as being rough, tough fighting machines.

What's more, the voice acting was atrocious. In addition to all-around bad line-reading, Krogan 1 couldn't have been voiced any worse. He's supposed to be big, burly, and bad, but he sounds more like Bob Ross having a bad day. All in all, this scene would've worked better in the old days of gaming, when nobody had voices and graphics were too primitive for anyone to realistically fight.

Final Fantasy X - Tidus and Yuna laughing

And on top of eye bleach, we'll now need ear plugs, because of the infamous "laughing scene" from Final Fantasy X. If you were fortunate enough to have never witnessed this grimace-inducing scene, then it's kind of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you've never experienced the amazing role-playing adventure with Tidus, Yuna, and the rest of the crew. But on the other hand, you also got to skip the dagger to the ear known as this scene. Watch it. We dare you. Heck, we dare you to see how long you can last against the 10-hour version on YouTube. That's right, it's so bad that it's been turned into an endurance test on the Internet.

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Lesbomancy

Role-playing games can take us away to far-off places full of magic, excitement, colorful characters, and memorable moments. The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings is no different, and can actually offer more in terms of mature content. Sometimes, however, it misses its mark, like with the "Lesbomancy" scene, in which the mage Philippa tries to heal Saskia with a kiss on the lips. A dwarf named Skalen Burdon then quips, "My favorite type of magic: lesbomancy!" Our least favorite type of humor: dirty dad jokes.

We're going to go ahead and venture to say that this dwarf won't win any awards for wordplay, or being particularly punny. In a game that's full of good mature content, this lame remark on sexual orientation and magic just conjures up a facepalm from us.

Any BioWare sex scene

It's no big secret that BioWare's role-playing games are deeply immersive experiences with thrilling narratives, engaging characters, and some of the best relationships in gaming. However, it's also true that these games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age have some of the most awkward, stilted, and wooden scenes depicting intimacy. It's a little off-putting to see the climax (no pun intended, probably) of a romantic side quest be nothing more than some corny lines of dialogue, cheesy background music, and character models that move like arthritic mannequins. You'd expect to see some passion between a hot-blooded human like Commander Shepard and a brainy, blue Asari lady like Liara, but instead we just start feeling the need for eye bleach.

Silent Hill 2: Pyramid Head does the nasty with mannequins

Virtually everything in the Silent Hill series is creepy and cringy, but this brief scene might be the worst one. In Silent Hill 2, your character, James, is walking around a dark, terrifying mansion (like one does when visiting Silent Hill) when he comes across the Big Bad — Pyramid Head — for the first time. Pyramid is one of the scariest villains ever: a faceless, unfeeling monster who serves as a psychological symbol for James' guilt over his wife's illness, in particular his resentment and fear of her for it. As James put it, "I was weak. That's why I needed you … needed someone to punish me for my sins."

But does Pyramid Head really need to showcase this by violently humping mannequins? Because that's exactly what he's doing the first time you see him. He's got two headless mannequins and he's mercilessly going to town on them. Pyramid's screams and roars only add to the cringe factor, as does the part where he senses James' presence and stalks him, dragging one of the violated mannequins along with him. We get it: you're a grotesque monstrosity who exists only to punish. But you still could've put yourself out there and found someone on OKCupid.

The Last of Us - David thinks Ellie's special

How does that Taylor Swift song go again? "I knew you were trouble when you walked in," is right, because none of us felt good when we were first introduced to David in The Last of Us during the winter portions. There's something that seems really off about this guy, especially in how he speaks to Ellie and tries to get her on his side. Things get even creepier after Ellie gets kidnapped by his gang and she wakes up in a cell while he David brings her food and gives her his sales pitch, hoping she'll join his band of merry cannibals. As uncomfortable as David made us when we first met him, the sketchiness meter goes berserk when he starts calling Ellie "special" and puts his hand on top of hers. We feel very unclean thanks to David.

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain - Quiet in the rain

There's all kinds of cringe-inducing content in video games, but there's just something deeply embarrassing about this scene from Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain. In this portion of the game, we see the silent (and well-endowed) Quiet slink around and enjoy the rain, twisting her barely-clothed form around on a platform. We're given a look at her writhing from many different angles, while a woman vocalizes in the background and the sounds of splashing can be heard. Quiet decides to splash around some more, and even has a cutesy water fight with Big Boss for good measure. Trust us when we say, this is probably the most awkward video game sequence for you to be playing when your mom or roommate walks into the room.

BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode Two - The Lobotomy

Speaking of visuals, much of the cringe in this scene from BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea – Episode Two involves what you, as Elizabeth, see in the first-person perspective. In this scene, Rapture baddie Atlas (also known as Fontaine to series veterans), is interrogating Elizabeth for information on what he calls Andrew Ryan's "Ace-in-the-Hole." To that end, he employs a form of torture so excruciating that you, as the player, kind of feel some of the pain. More specifically, he performs a transorbital lobotomy on Liz, the effects of which are made greater thanks to the red flashes across the screen, Liz's utterances of agony, and the vibrating of the controller every time he taps the pick some more. This is some savage stuff.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 - Pole dancing scenes

The Dead or Alive Xtreme games are nothing more than fanservice-filled bits of eye candy for lovers of the Dead or Alive fighting game series. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the aesthetics of the girls in these games, but it's pretty safe to say that there's only one reason why guys play this game…and it's not because they really enjoy the competitive nature of beach volleyball and jet-skiing. As if all of the boob physics and skimpy outfits weren't enough, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 also includes a pole-dancing mini-game that lets your favorite girl twirl around a pole while magically changing into different outfits. Yeah, try to play that in a common area.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater - Snake and Eva in the cave

This scene from the tactical espionage masterpiece known as Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater is like something out of a bad porno or a good Austin Powers movie. There are innuendos, double entendres, and jokes about snakes. What more could you want? There's also a sexy track that plays once the action starts up. Needless to say, you're not going to want others around when you play out this horrifyingly corny scene and its visuals.

Infinite Undiscovery - The "dinner, dinner dinner!" dance

Fair warning: you might just damage your ears if you watch this video and listen to the inane song at the end of it. Infinite Undiscovery was a beefy role-playing game on the Xbox 360 that featured an epic adventure starring a few anime-style heroes. Because it was a Japanese RPG, it definitely sported some of the trappings of the genre, like awkward dialogue that's been poorly translated to English. But the portion of the game that most prompts us to stick forks in our ears is the "dancing, dancing, dancing" part, in which the twins Rico and Rucha dance away while singing about wanting to eat dinner. Listening to "DINNER, DINNER, DINNER!" multiple times should count as a form of torture.

Outlast: Miles loses some fingers

It's impossible to make a fun, whimsical torture scene, but then, Outlast wasn't trying to. Your character, Miles, is captured by Rick Trager, a man affected with a disease that turned him into a cannibalistic lunatic. Trager beats Miles senseless then straps him to a wheelchair and prepares for the worst torture of all: cheesy lines like "Here we go, arms and legs inside the car at all times!"

Of course, there's also the physical torture. Trager, annoyed that you've been working with a preacher character, starts lecturing about God and money: "[People are] as likely to turn to God as anything else. God died with the gold standard, we're onto a more concrete faith now. You have to rob Paul to pay Peter. … Murder is the simplest form, but what happens when all the money is gone? Well, money becomes a matter of faith, and that's what I'm here for — to make you believe!" With that, he takes a giant pair of scissors and slices through your fingers. Your screams (and the increasingly out-of-focus camera) sell your horrendous pain, which you must endure because Trager slaps you before you can pass out. He goes for the other hand, then finally leaves. When he goes, we get the disgusting coup de grace: Miles moaning in agony after seeing two fingers amputated with the bones sticking straight out. If you can't look at bloody human bones without gagging, skip this game and play Kirby instead.

R-Type Final: sexy silhouettes

Of all the places you'd expect to see giant shadows of people doing it, space likely isn't one of them. But in the part of the Universe set aside for the R-Type series, that's apparently par for the course.

In R-Type Final, you do what you do in every R-Type game: fly right and shoot everything. But in Stage F-A, if you peel your eyes away from the endless hordes of nogoodniks trying to kill you, you'll see something … peculiar in the background. To your left slowly approaches a giant silhouette of a woman; to your right, a humongous silhouette of a man. (Sadly, no cheat code will let you do the fandango to see a little silhouette of a man.) They slowly walk toward each other, eventually embracing to make sweet, sweet space love.

They merge into one, then Love Blob briefly goes off-camera before returning to be weird in other forms. You can definitely see legs and feet this time, and the angles suggest these two lovebirds are practicing the horizontal dance of life right in front of you. They only leave for good once the boss appears, probably because a gigantic, enemy-spewing orb-monster kills their odd, skeevy exhibitionist mojo.

God of War's sex mini-games

The God of War series is famous for its incredible action, huge set pieces that rival those of Hollywood, and its wholly inaccurate portrayal of Greek Mythology. Everything about the games scream "spectacle" in the best possible ways. You're rewarded for your skills in combat and for having great reflexes, both of which are needed to bring down some of Kratos's more gargantuan foes. You're even treated to epic visuals during boss fights that feature choreography that would put many cinematographers to shame. It's a shame, then, that the titles also feature various sex-themed mini-games that task you with controlling Kratos as he engages in various attempts at quick-time-event coitus. While nothing is shown explicitly, there's always some kind of visual innuendo nearby like a fountain spewing water or a candle dripping wax that just makes us groan, and not in the good way. It would have been better if they left this kind of sophomoric humor out of our action games and just let us bash skulls in like civilized folk.