Here's What Was Found In L. Ron Hubbard's Coroner's Report

Thetans. It was thetans, right? They found body thetans (BTs) in L. Ron Hubbard's corpse? They're these aliens, see, sent to Earth by the head of the Galactic Federation, Xenu, before Xenu got stuffed in an "electronic mountain trap," but not before he put hydrogen bombs in terrestrial volcanos, and tens of millions of years before thetans started glomming onto human bodies and acting as intercessors between the brain "switchboard" and the mind, and, uh ... you know what? Forget all that Scientology stuff. L. Ron Hubbard was a science fiction author, and it shows. He founded Scientology, as we all know, died in 1986, and had a certificate of death issued by San Luis Obispo, California. He did not, however, receive an autopsy because of "religious reasons."

As Chief Deputy Coroner Don Hines recorded per Autopsy Files, Lafayette Ronald Hubbard died at the age 74. He was described as tall and having "abundant reddish-white facial hair," as well as having body hair of the same color "present on the surface." His fingernails and toenails were both long and "unkempt," and displayed signs of cyanosis — a blueish discoloration caused by a lack of oxygen to the body before death. He also had similar discoloration on his back (livoris), indicating that he was laying back-down after death. And perhaps most strikingly, he had 10 needle marks on the right side of his butt, all packed into a 5-by-8 centimeter area covered by a band-aid. 

Death by stroke and no autopsy allowed

According to official narratives available at Autopsy Files, Hubbard died by himself in a Bluebird brand motorhome parked at his ranch in Creston, California. His post-mortem says that the report was conducted at Reis Chapel at the Reis Family Mortuary in San Luis Obispo, California. A day later, per New Times, the mortuary called up the local sheriff's department and said that they needed a body taken away and cremated ASAP. Officers Charles Gassett and Gary Bang met Hubbard's attorney, Earle Cooley, and physician, Eugene Denk, at Hubbard's ranch. The sheriff's department pushed back a bit and wanted an autopsy done to avoid any kerfuffles with Hubbard's followers, family, or the media. These efforts failed, and no autopsy was performed. So, we've only got a non-invasive post-mortem examination and a toxicology report to go by.

But Hubbard's death certificate does list a cause of death, if not a manner of death. The cause of death was a "cerebral vascular accident," i.e., a stroke. The manner of death — e.g., homicide, natural, accidental, suicide, or undetermined — isn't listed. This, plus the swift cremation led former Scientologist Spokesperson Robert Vaughn Young to believe that Hubbard's death involved "foul play," as New Times says, specifically, in the sudden change of his will, as Young explained to "Surviving Scientology," via YouTube. A few days before he died, Hubbard strangely signed a new will stating that no autopsy should be conducted on his body. But, as the supplementary investigation attached to the coroner's report writes, Hubbard said this was because an autopsy, "would violate my religious convictions."

Explaining the needle marks

Looking back to L. Ron Hubbard's post-mortem report: We mentioned the hair on his head and body, the unkempt nails and the discoloration under them, and the needle marks on his butt. Aside from commenting on Hubbard's "thinning, receding" hairline, the report also says that there were no bruises or injuries across Hubbard's body, and "no abnormalities" across his back. There are a lot of other documents attached to the report, including the aforementioned long-form investigation section that reveals a potentially key element to the mystery: Hubbard had been showing signs of dysphasia (a speech disorder that interferes with converting thoughts into words) eight days before his death.

The report also describes how the local sheriff's department pushed for a toxicology report, no doubt to determine a manner of death, and also why Hubbard had those telltale needle marks on his butt. New Times states that the Church of Scientology said that Hubbard had been prescribed Vistaril as an antihistamine because of allergies caused by the animals on his ranch. And indeed, a "trace" of Vistaril — generic name hydroxyzine – was the only drug found in his system, per the toxicology report. According to The National Alliance on Mental Illness, the drug is an antihistamine that is also prescribed for treating anxiety. 

In keeping with Scientology's well-known aversion to psychiatric medicine, church representative Tommy Davis said via New Times, "He didn't take it as a psychiatric medication, that's all." And yet, Hubbard's son told Penthouse Magazine that his father dabbled in drugs all the time.