The Smallest Pig Breed In The World
Don't think we haven't seen you galavanting around town, flaunting your very small pig and bragging about its unusual, below-average size. You think you're the life of the party, strutting around like you own the whole world just because your pig is the smallest pig here. Well, get ready to feel like a real idiot. It's not the smallest pig in the world. Not even close. The smallest pig in the world is smaller than your stupid pig by a wide margin, pal. If your small pig saw the smallest pig in the world, your pig would develop body image issues and its weight would start to yo-yo in a really unhealthy way because your pig would get into a cycle of starting a fad diet, then feeling like it wasn't working fast enough, then bouncing to another fad diet. The smallest pig in the world makes your pig look like a fat sack of trash.
Anyway, here's the smallest pig in the world.
The pygmy hog puts your pig to shame, you jerk
The BBC says the world's smallest breed of pig comes to us by way of India, and it is rightly called the pygmy hog, perhaps because "pygmy pig" sounds redundant when you say it out loud. It is furry. It is lovable. It has an inch long tail and it only gets a foot tall. It looks like a kiwi fruit that got brought to life by a lonely little boy's very special birthday wish. They eat roots and bugs and mice and they build tiny nests lined with foliage.
They're also critically endangered, possibly because "Save the Very Small Pigs" doesn't have the same sex appeal as "Save the Whales." If you're interested in maintaining a more magical world, consider making a donation to the Pygmy Hog Conservation Programme, a group established in the mid-90s that works to breed these majestic beasts and reintroduce them to the wild.
And when you're done with that, you can go cry in your pie, you giant pig owning pile of garbage.