The Stinkiest Dog Breed In The World
In many ways, dogs are just like us. They love a long walk in the sun, they want to eat cats, and they can spend hours every day screaming at small animals outside the living room window.
And they, like us, smell terrible. Some, you may have noticed, smell worse than others, and for a variety of reasons. Some dogs are more susceptible to dog stank than others thanks to their unique physical attributes. A bulldog, for example, is covered in deep, bacteria-friendly flesh folds which become filled with severe grossness without stringent adherence to hygiene. Chihuahuas, in their ambitious attempts to hold a standard number of teeth in their travel-sized skulls, are more prone to tooth decay. Then there's the anal glands: small sacs of tuchus scent embedded in your furry pal's rear end, which can become impacted and make your whole world smell like the inside of a dog's butt.
Soak in the grossness
With all of that in mind, the noble basset hound is probably the breed most vulnerable to smelling like damp trash. It's got everything: loose, foldy skin. Above-average tooth decay. The aforementioned butt glands.
To top it off, they have those ears — big, floppy, cartoonishly oversized ears. More ear means more ear infections, and bassets are famously prone to these problems. For a good idea of what this does to the breed's overall olfactory aesthetic, the next time you see one, shove your face into the side of their head and take a nice, deep inhale.
If you own a basset hound, or really any other dog with a tendency to smell like the cologne scene from Anchorman, there are preventative measures to be taken. The American Kennel Club throws out a couple of easy options: first and foremost, bathing, which they call "an obvious, yet often neglected solution." A healthy diet can also help, since filling anything with garbage is going to give it an odor. Lastly, regular vet checkups including oral hygiene are very much a good call.
Butt wait, there's more
If the basset hound, the dog breed which most resembles a potato that you forgot you had under your sink, seems like too easy an answer, not to worry. Plenty of other pups suffer from above-average aromatic grossness.
Saint Bernards, while charming, are famously disgusting. This comes courtesy of their perpetually drool-drenched mouths. They also have a Ziplock-style double layer of fur, which really locks in the flavor.
Some dogs have developed specifically to grody up the joint. Beagles were bred as pack hunters, and their distinctive odor lets them keep track of one another while they're out on business. Additionally, they've got that same Chuck Jones ear situation that bassets have, which can lead to dank aural cavities.
For a classic that never goes out of style, though, discerning sommeliers of animal odor simply must turn to the humble pug, which has been described by the good folks at The Dog People as "renowned for extreme gassiness." Something about the way that mankind genetically engineered those lovable living radishes into nature's Ford Festiva in a trash compactor really did a number on their digestive systems.