The Sketchy Reason Gas Stations Sell Socks

Convenience store shelves can seem like an assortment of unrelated miscellany to a bright-eyed young adult, with neither the experience nor the personal problems to necessitate a debilitating drug problem. But give that naive youth a few years, and a particularly tough couple of breakups and they'll be able to explain, in some detail, the way that a 7-Eleven commemorative Jumanji 2 Big Gulp straw can be repurposed for use as a syringe if you just gauge out your brachial artery enough.

In the meantime, you might wonder about some of the perennial favorite choices of $1 novelty items and overpriced merchandise available in your neighborhood's itchiest shops. By way of example, why do they always have piles of thick athletic socks for sale? And why are they always right next to the novelty bong-shaped travel mugs that, coincidentally, are one hundred percent functional?

The answer, as with so many things, lies in huffing a bunch of spray paint.

Socks to be you

It's important to start off with some key reminders. First off, don't huff paint. It's a terrible idea. For one thing, American Addiction Centers points out that you could asphyxiate and die, or succumb to "sudden sniffing death syndrome," which, apparently, exists. Also, and this is true, you will smell like paint. Don't huff paint.

All of that being said, people do (sadly) huff paint. People make lots of bad choices. People watched Green Lantern in theaters. You can't fix people. And when people huff paint, they tend to spray it into a rag first. Thick, meaty socks apparently get the job done. As Palm Partners explains, these convenience stores don't sell socks because everyone wears socks. Could you wear convenience store socks on your feet? Sure. But that's not why they're there. When you think "I need some socks (for my feet, not for huffing paint)" you go to, well, not a convenience store, usually.

Again, don't huff paint.