Russell Crowe might think you're an a**hole. Here's why

If you're being honest, you probably don't want Russell Crowe to think you're an a**hole. Look at his track record — in 2000's Gladiator, he thought Commodus was an a**hole, and take a gander at what happened to him. In 2012's Les Misérables? He figured that Jean Valjean was an a**hole. The guy lost decades of his life. Man of Steel saw him declaring Zod an a**hole, dying, then coming back to call him an a**hole again — not in so many words, but who knows? The Snyder Cut holds a lot of possibilities.

If you, entirely reasonably, want to take measurable action to avoid the ire of Russell Crowe, then good news: ahead of the release of his new film, Unhinged, the Academy Award winner sat down to lay out some helpful guidelines, which has been documented in a Looper-exclusive video. With the help of Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum, Crowe scoped out the moral quandaries of the everyman, contributing his two cents and letting John Q. Public know just what makes them, in his eyes, a real trash can of a human being.

What makes you an a**hole, according to Unhinged star Russell Crowe

The video is magnificent for a number of reasons. On the one hand, yes, it serves as a tourist's guide to avoiding the painful stigma of landing on Russell Crowe's a**hole list. More than that, though, it really beautifully illustrates the way that a good actor can elevate a script — listening to a BAFTA winner recite Reddit posts like "I of course adore traditional Texas chili, which has no beans, but it may surprise you to learn I also tolerate and am a fan of chili with beans?" Chef's kiss. Nobody could've done it better. Topics up for deliberation by the two-time Golden Globe winner and "chief a**hole adjudicator" include deleting a significant other's social media page, getting mad about travel plans, and yes, really, chili.

Unhinged, which stars Russell Crowe as a pretty huge a**hole, also stars Caren Pistorius, Gabriel Bateman, and Jimmi Simpson. It's due to hit theaters on August 21st.