The Weirdest Backstage Riders

For many, traveling the globe as a touring musician is the ultimate dream. You get to see the world, play to adoring fans night after night, and live in the lap of luxury, enjoying the glamour of backstage green rooms and VIP hotel suites. What's not to love?

Well, sadly, the reality is that for many musicians, touring can be a real pain in the neck. Not only does it mean barely seeing members of your family and spending years on the road living out of a suitcase, budgets mean that tour itineraries are tight, and that instead of finding time to explore the glamorous cities you pass through on tour, each place becomes indistinguishable from the last, a never-ending carousel of anonymous suites and waiting rooms.

Therefore, as a way of ensuring some much-needed comfort, artists on the road provide concert organizers with a "rider," a brief (usually) document that explains both the technical requirements of each act on the bill, and what the talent and their entourages require to make their time backstage comfortable and conducive to putting on a good show. Sounds reasonable, but then again, not all musicians are known for being reasonable — in fact, many have a reputation for being downright difficult.

Matching Maria Carey when it comes to the size of her entourage and the exactness of her backstage requirements is Beyoncé. The "Crazy in Love" singer has a very specific set of culinary demands, the kind you would expect from an artist known for always looking flawless: a "large turkey deli tray," as well as a selection of fresh fruit, per The Irish Independent. Cunningly, Beyoncé also requests a bottle of champagne, but specifically the Ace of Spades brand, which is owned by her husband, Jay-Z (per The Metro). That's one way of keeping things in the family, eh?

But Beyoncé also has a few more, let's say, eccentric requests, including the demand that members of the crew must only dress in 100% cotton garments, that the toilet seat in her dressing room must be replaced with a brand new one before her arrival, and that the toilet paper provided must be red, according to The Huffington Post.

Another notable demand from Bey's rider is that under no circumstances can any Coca-Cola products be allowed backstage. Why? Because the singer's sponsor, PepsiCo, might have something to say about it, that's why.

If reports are believed, simply accommodating pop icon Madonna and her sprawling entourage is a herculean task in itself. According to Yahoo Entertainment, at the time of Madonna's "MDNA" tour in 2012, her entourage reportedly stretched to around 200 people, including bodyguards and private caterers but also a yoga instructor and Madonna's personal acupuncturist.

But if her entourage already seems enough to cause concert promoters a headache, her rider demands look likely to provoke a full-on migraine. Per the same source, before each performance Madonna expects her backstage area to be bedecked with roses, with each stem cut to exactly six inches, while all the pre-existing dressing room furniture has to be shipped out, to make room for her favorite pieces which she brings from home especially. She also requires 20 international phone lines in her dressing room, though why she can't just turn on roaming on her cell is anyone's guess.

"Madonna has probably the longest list of requirements of any of the world's music stars. She expects things to be just right or it puts her off her stage show," said an inside source (via Yahoo).

Perhaps the most famous backstage rider in rock history comes courtesy of Californian axe-wielders Van Halen, whose run in the 1980s saw the band with the world at their feet, playing some of the most outlandish rock shows of all time to huge audiences all over the planet.

In an interview posted on YouTube, Van Halen's David Lee Roth explained their tour rider's famous clause banning brown M&Ms: "Many years ago, it was part of Van Halen's contract as we toured through the arenas in the '80s that there would be no brown M&Ms found in the backstage area, or the promoter would forfeit the entire show at full pay. This was touted wildly and widely as simple rock star misdemeanor excess and being abusive of others simply because we could. ..."

But in fact, Roth explains that the ploy was a way of making sure that concert promoters had properly read the rider — which ran to more than 50 pages – as the complicated stage setup included the pioneering use of enormous 850 par lamp lights. That meant that the show required a huge amount of attention to detail to ensure the safety of both the band and crew. "If I saw brown M&Ms on the catering table, then guaranteed the promoter had not read the contract rider and we had to do a serious line check," Roth claims.

So that's the legend suitably explained. Now, if only Roth could share the reasoning behind another request, for "One (1) large tube KY Jelly" ...

Formerly rap's biggest troll, the emcee born Marshall Mathers and otherwise known as Slim Shady would probably be at the top of most people's lists when it comes to musicians who probably have ridiculous backstage riders. However, even back in the scandalous days in 2003, when Em toured the world with both D12 and 50 Cent, the extensive food list was generally healthy and the amount of alcohol requested was notably moderate. (Compare Em's half-case of Heineken (per The Smoking Gun) to the mind-numbing amount of booze Pharrell Williams demanded). However, the total of 10 glass ashtrays the rapper and his crew requested across three dressing rooms give some clue to how they liked to unwind after entertaining the masses.

But the rapper finally raised eyebrows in 2011 when it was revealed that when performing a festival show in Northern Ireland, Em made a rather unusual request: that the promoter builds a specially-designed wooden pond backstage, and fill it with koi carp — luxury fish, each with a value of hundreds of dollars (per NME). Whether the request was fulfilled remains to be seen.

The Stooges' Iggy Pop is, in many ways, the ultimate rock 'n' roll survivor. Back in the day, the man born James Osterberg Jr. was a genuine hellraiser, whose blood-smeared, shirtless performances looked like those of one living on the edge, whose hard-living lifestyle could be the end of him. Somehow, though, Pop has managed to get to his 70s against the odds, to become punk rock's greatest elder statesman.

There's a lot that is legendary about Iggy, and his rider is, of course, among them. Rather than a typical dry list of technical requirements and backstage requests, Iggy's rider reads like a piece of art in itself, a silly and witty piece of writing especially made to make promoters (and those who read leaked copies of it on the internet) laugh.

Among the weird riffs about rejecting gear used by Insane Clown Posse, the need of a monitor man "who is not afraid of death," and heavy-duty fans "so that I can wear a scarf and pretend I'm in a Bon Jovi video," are several more bizarre requests, including a Bob Hope impersonator telling "jokes about gold and Hollywood and Bing Crosby" and a copy of USA Today, with — quote — "a story about morbidly obese people in it" (via The Smoking Gun).

In an addendum to the rider, a page is also included outlining the writer's idea for a bizarre reality TV show named "Dead Dog Island," the details of which you can possibly imagine for yourself.