What Marilyn Monroe's Exes Said About Her

Marilyn Monroe was an iconic actor of her own time and only became more iconic after her tragic death from an overdose on August 4, 1962, at just 36. As a blonde bombshell who never got the chance to grow old, she has stayed young and beautiful in the public's mind and probably always will. Even today, her image is used to sell products; social media users quote her constantly (or at least quotes they claim she said but she did not); and Kim Kardashian got headlines and criticism when she wore the actual dress Monroe wore to sing "Happy Birthday" to President John F. Kennedy on the Met Gala red carpet in 2022. (She changed into a replica for the actual event.)

While almost always reduced to her looks, Monroe was a successful actor and producer, who escaped a terrible childhood and was always looking for the happiness that eluded her. She often turned to men to help her find it, and after her death, some of those men went on the record about their relationships and Monroe generally. 

This list does not include every man (and a few women) she is known or rumored to have had relationships with, as some have never talked about her publicly. The men that did choose to talk about Monroe, however, have tended to speak about her at length, with many thoughts on who she was and why she was so unhappy. Here's what Marilyn Monroe's exes said about her.

The relationship between film star Marilyn Monroe and her second husband, sports star Joe DiMaggio, is often held up as a beautiful love story, but the reality is much more complicated. Many who knew DiMaggio said at the time or since how dangerously jealous he was of any man who was around Monroe, according to "Joe and Marilyn: Legends in Love." Some have claimed he hit and even stalked her. They would divorce after less than a year of marriage, although they remained good friends afterward.

Many of DiMaggio's thoughts on his late ex-wife come from his talks with his podiatrist Rock Positano, who recounted them at length in his book "Dinner With DiMaggio: Memories of an American Hero." DiMaggio was not shy about the recollections he shared with Positano, even telling him of his relationship with Monroe, "When we got together in the bedroom, it was like the gods were fighting; there were thunderclouds and lightning above us."

But the baseball player also saw the sad side of his wife's personality. "Marilyn was a good kid, but she was a confused kid," he told Positano. And while DiMaggio wanted children, Monroe knew her chances of having them were slim: "Marilyn was hurt by the woman thing — her inability to have children."

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

Arthur Miller was already a famous playwright by the time he met Marilyn Monroe. Their marriage was her longest relationship, lasting four and a half years before they divorced in 1961. She died the following year, and Miller spend a long time working out his demons connected to their time together. In 1964, he wrote his first play based on her, "After the Fall," and even at 87, he was still getting inspiration from Monroe, writing one called "Finishing the Picture," where a Monroe-type woman is an important — but never actually seen — character, as reported in Playbill.

As a talented writer, it's not surprising Miller has some of the most beautiful quotes about Monroe. In "Timebends: A Life," he wrote, "...she was a poet on a street corner trying to recite to a crowd pulling at her clothes." He fully believed in her talent, as he said when they were married: "I took her as a serious actress even before I met her. I think she's an adroit comedienne, but I also think she might turn into the greatest tragic actress that can be imagined" (via "Marilyn Monroe: Her Films, Her Life"). 

But he also saw the worst of her demons, explaining, "She was a very serious girl who was struggling. ... against abandonment and abuse. Against her family's fundamentalist religion. She was in rebellion, and expected punishment" (via "Frank & Marilyn: The Lives, the Loves, and the Fascinating Relationship of Frank Sinatra and Marilyn Monroe").

Comedian and revolutionary TV star Milton Berle knew Marilyn Monroe longer than most people in Hollywood, having met her when she was starting out and getting roles as chorus girls. As quoted in "Marilyn in Manhattan: Her Year of Joy," Berle said of that time, when he and the budding actor had a romantic relationship, that "there was nothing cheap about her. ... She had respect for herself. Marilyn was a lady."

The two major stars would cross paths again many times before Monroe's death. They maintained a friendship and even worked together when Berle had a small part in Monroe's film "Let's Make Love" in 1960. Having gone from a background member of the chorus to one of the world's biggest movie stars, Berle said of Monroe as the 1960s rolled around, "The wide-eyed naïve Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever" (via "Icon: The Life, Times and Films of Marilyn Monroe").

Jerry Lewis was a hugely successful performer, both in Las Vegas with his partner Dean Martin, as well as a solo act in films like "The Nutty Professor." He performed for four presidents over the years and met several more. When Amy Wallace sat down with Lewis in 2017 for a profile in GQ, she certainly expected to talk about all those highlights of his life, which also made it into the article. But after Lewis made a racy claim about him and Marilyn Monroe, it's hard to remember all the rest of it. 

Lewis acknowledges that he constantly cheated on his wife, although he says it's impossible he slept with every leading lady in his films since he found one of them unattractive. But the interview appears to be the first time this spreading of wild oats connected him to Monroe. After stating that there was no way the actor had the much-rumored affair with President John F. Kennedy, Lewis stated, "And the only reason I know is because I did. Okay?" Asked about the experience by the unbelieving Wallace, Lewis reflected, "It was ... long. I was crippled for a month. And I thought Marlene Dietrich was great!" 

While it is odd that this information did not come out until 55 years after Monroe died, Lewis did say something that rang true, because it was very similar to what some of Monroe's other lovers had said: "She needed that contact to be sure it was real."