• Who Trained Chuck Norris?

    Try to find any actual biographical info on Chuck Norris, and you will soon find yourself swallowed up by the remnants of 2004's most poppin' fresh comedy stylings. But just who trained him?

    By Tom Meisfjord December 5th, 2019 Read More
  • Putin Bashes Wikipedia, Plans To Create Homegrown Version

    Wikipedia is one of the most important inventions of the 21st century. Unfortunately, no matter how many minds it educates, the world's favorite internet resource can never catch a break. Now, Russian President Vladimir Putin is slamming Wikipedia — and trying to replace it with a Russian version.

    By Nicholas Conley December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • America May Suffer French Fry Shortage After Poor Potato Harvest

    French fries are far from the healthiest way to eat a potato, but they might be the tastiest. If you're an American who loves fries, though, it looks like 2020 won't be your favorite year. Maybe. The problem, once again, is climate-related. Here's why America may suffer from a french fry shortage.

    By Nicholas Conley December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • The Dumbest Dog Breed In The World

    First things first: if you're studying up on different dog breeds, it can be difficult to get a straight answer on which one is, broadly speaking, the least intelligent. But there is a clear winner for 'dumbest dog breed in the world.'

    By Tom Meisfjord December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • The Smallest Hedgehog Breed In The World

    Most hedgehogs can fit in an adult's hand. Their average measurements vary by species, but the biggest reach about a foot in length. Some hedgehogs are so small that Sonic could crush one while running at the speed of sound without even noticing his tragic misstep. Which breed is the smallest?

    By A. C. Grimes December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • The Richest Family In The World

    Every year we're bombarded with lists about the richest billionaires in the world, as the world waits with bated breath to see whether the number one spot is occupied by Unfathomably Rich Guy One or Unfathomably Rich Guy Two. But have you ever wondered what the richest family in the world is?

    By Pauli Poisuo December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • SpaceX Launch To Carry Beer, Fire And Mighty Mice To ISS

    Scientists have priorities -- they study what they believe to be most likely to have a lasting impact on humanity. Which is why a SpaceX rocket set to launch Wednesday, Dec. 4 is carrying experiments on beer brewing, mouse muscle decay, and "fire behavior" to the International Space Station.

    By Jim Dykstra December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • North Korea Opens Town Praised As 'The Epitome Of Civilization'

    North Korea is so poor that farmers steal each other's poop to use as fertilizer. In 2019, the Hermit Kingdom's poop-obsessed despot proudly announced that his country of doom had erected the "epitome of modern civilization" and officially opened that epitome for business.

    By A. C. Grimes December 4th, 2019 Read More
  • Here's How Much Money Ric Flair Is Actually Worth

    Woooo! Ric Flair is a true legend of professional wrestling, and a true "stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' and dealin' son of a gun." So how much money does the master of the Figure Four Leglock really have? Does he have any at all?

    By Pauli Poisuo December 3rd, 2019 Read More
  • The Reason Young Bill Gates Wouldn't Like Himself Today

    It's a constant of the universe that we, as individuals, have a difficult time reconciling our current selves with the people we used to be. But what about those who've achieved greatness? No, turns out they can self loathe with the worst of us. At least, that's how Bill Gates feels.

    By Tom Meisfjord December 3rd, 2019 Read More
  • Europe Signs On To Help Save Planet By Smashing Asteroids

    One day while you're ordering your latte while swiping left on Tinder hopefuls, you'll feel the earth tremble beneath your feet as a massive asteroid collides with our planet. Now, NASA and the European Space Agency have teamed up to practice smashing these potential planet-wrecking asteroids.

    By Jim Dykstra December 3rd, 2019 Read More
  • Farmers Test VR Headsets To Show Cows Greener Pastures

    If you like animals, then you'll either udderly love or hate this story. But either way you'll have a cow. According to Forbes, Russian farmers are now testing virtual reality headsets for dairy cows to increase their milk production.

    By Jim Dykstra December 3rd, 2019 Read More
  • The Oldest Unsolved Murder In The World

    Were restrictions on killing even more lax before written laws existed? Maybe, but without an ancient Ice-T to shed light on the subject, we can only take a stab in the dark and hope not to kill anyone in the process. With that potential alibi in mind, here's the world's oldest unsolved "murder."

    By A. C. Grimes December 3rd, 2019 Read More
  • The Real Reason The Tesla Cybertruck Looks So Weird

    So, Elon Musk's much-anticipated Tesla Cybertruck is finally here -- and boy, does it ever look weird. Its angular, minimalist design looks like nothing else you'll encounter on the road. Surely, there's some real reason and rhyme to the Cybertruck's design? Let's find out!

    By Pauli Poisuo December 3rd, 2019 Read More
  • The Reason Sloths Are So Slow

    Sloths are the adorable embodiment of one of the seven deadly sins, suggesting that when these slow-moving cuties die they go straight to hell, giving a whole new meaning to the term 'slow burn'. We kid. Here's why sloths are so slow.

    By A. C. Grimes December 2nd, 2019 Read More
  • 'Starch Artist' Sculpts Mashed Potato Cybertruck At Thanksgiving

    Greg Milano, a 30 year old real estate worker will never be more famous for his other accomplishments as he currently is for playing with his food. Milano took Twitter by storm over Thanksgiving weekend with his magnum opus: a Tesla Cybertruck made entirely of mashed potatoes.

    By Tom Meisfjord December 2nd, 2019 Read More
  • Infrared Images Uncover Hidden Tattoos On Egyptian Mummies

    Through the use of infrared imaging, scientists have discovered previously unnoticed tattoos on seven mummies from the Deir el-Medina region of Egypt. It's a big find that's changing the way researchers view the significance of getting a sleeve done.

    By Tom Meisfjord December 2nd, 2019 Read More
  • The Happiest Country In The World

    In a stunning upset, the U.N. has reported that, for the seventh straight year, the happiest place on Earth has an astonishingly low giant-anthropomorphic-mouse-to-human ratio. But the problem with bipedal man-rats is that you never know how many of them are in your area until it's too late.

    By Tom Meisfjord December 2nd, 2019 Read More
  • How Much Money Is In The US?

    The US already has a national anthem, but its de facto theme music might just be the O'Jays' "For the Love of Money," a song whose intro consists of the word 'money' sung over and over. It captures the ravenous passion for cash that shapes America's character. But just how much money is in the US?

    By A. C. Grimes December 2nd, 2019 Read More